(Closed) Friend assumed she's invited to tiny wedding

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
1254 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Cordellia:  I’d just reply and say – ‘nope not yet, still a few weeks to away’ and she should (well, normal people would) get the idea that she is not invited…

Post # 4
Member
1254 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Cordellia:  Well in that case perhaps you could stretch the truth a bit and say ‘not yet, still a few weeks to go. We had to change our plans and have a really small and intimate wedding in the end, the cost of a bigger event was just getting out of hand.’ 

Post # 5
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Villa Celeste

I’ve had the same problem. I’m also having a 30 person wedding. Ironically a destination in Mexico haha. But anyway, I’ve had some people assume that they are invited which is bizzarre to me as they’re people I rarely speak to. Once you have a party going on, people seem to flock. 

I would just be honest. She’s going to find out about it eventually, especially if you decide to put pictures on FB. I would just simply tell her that everything has esentially been finalized, and that you’re only having family and very close friends. But I’d leave it on a positive note, and change the subject. Ask her how she’s doing. I find that most people find the let down to be easier if you continue on the conversation. Either way, I wouldn’t budge. This is your day, and you don’t want her there.

Post # 6
Member
7 posts
Newbee

Cordellia:  I had a very similar issue.  It’s so bizarre to me that people assume they are invited! I was just honest and said, “we’re having a very intimate wedding with immediate family and a couple of our closest friends only.  ”  

Post # 7
Member
1817 posts
Buzzing bee

I just want to point out that she really has done nothing wrong and she isn’t assuming she is invited – your FI TOLD her she was when he said, “hope you can make it”.  That IS an invitation.  The only one who made a gaff here is him.  Why don’t you make him fix this mess?

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