Post # 1
I’m not sure what to do about people asking for +1’s for recent relationships. I have a friend who just started officially dating someone yesterday (they’ve been talking for a couple of weeks and I haven’t met the person yet). When they were talking, my friend said to me, “now I’ll have a date to your wedding!” I ended up just changing the subject because I wasn’t sure how to handle this. My wedding is in 4 months, which would be a pretty new relationship still at the time of the wedding. We were aiming to have around 150 guests and so for the guest list is creeping up to around 200 but we really don’t want that many. I’ve heard rules about guidelines that the couple had to date a certain amount of time before being invited (6 months or so). Is that too harsh?
Post # 3
@Hillzie: I would wait and see where their relationship is when you send the invites. Will she know other people at the wedding?
Are there a big group of unattached friends who all know each other invited?
Is your wedding local?
If you are having a local wedding with a bunch of people she knows (and she and her new beau haven’t moved in together by the time the invites are sent out), I’d just make it clear on the invite that the invitation is for one person and address it only to her.
If she asks to bring him, I’d politely let her know that unfortunately you have a space constraint and are unable to accommodate him.
Post # 4
I would just nicely tell her that unfortunately there isn’t enough room to give her a +1 for the wedding next time she brings it up.
Post # 5
I would honestly just wait and see if I were you. At the end of the day, you want all of your guests to be as happy as possible at the wedding. I understand you have space restricitons, but you can always work around it when the time comes to try and grant her a plus 1. For now, if you want you can warn her by saying something like “We have major space restrictions so I can’t promise you can bring a date, but I will try my best especially considering you’ve found such a great guy”
Post # 6
@Hillzie: As someone who has been to a wedding without a date before, it can be very awkward if you don’t know anybody there.
Unless she is part of a big group of friends who will keep her company, then I think you should go ahead and give her a +1.
Post # 7
Thanks for the advice. It’s a local event so she’ll know a handful of people and will have a couple of friends there but I’d be upset too if my SO wasn’t invited. If they’re still together at the time of the wedding then maybe you’re right that I should invite her boyfriend.
I guess what’s really holding me back is that her relationships are typically short…I don’t think she’s had one more than 3-4 months. Our invites will also go out in only 2 months and she also has a history of cancelling at the last minute (I know she won’t for my wedding, but for other events).