Post # 1
Hello! I really need help wording a response to a friend, who has just let me know that he and his girlfriend won’t be attending our wedding… which is one SATURDAY. The reason? His girlfriend is a bridesmaid in a diffrent friend’s wedding, and apparently they scheduled a shower on Saturday and she “can’t miss it.” I’m like, wtf at every level right now–they scheduled this four days in advance? she can’t miss a last-minute shower? You can’t come without her? This is, overall, shockingly rude and not cool in any way?
So, what I need help with is figuring out what to say in response. I work with this friend, so will see him basically every day. How would you respond? I don’t want to act like everything’s fine, because I’m pretty mad, but I don’t want to be an asshole either.
Any advice appreciated!!
Post # 2
You don’t need to say anything more than “thank you for letting me know.” If you are feeling generous you may add a “you will be missed.” Vent here; you still have to work with him.
Post # 3
So rude. I’d still play nice and just say “you’ll be missed”
I would seriously distance myself from this person though and not invite them to anything going forward.
Post # 4
Don’t say anything apart from a curt, ok we will miss you.
Don’t waste your emotional energy at this point. Later afterwards at work you can maybe ask why he couldn’t have come without her. If you still care.
Have a lovely wedding on Saturday.
Post # 5
Things happen, people have other things going besides your wedding. Is it rude they cancelled last minute sure. But be the bigger person and just say sorry you are unable to come, you will be missed and leave it at that
Post # 6
Bummer we will miss you. Let it go, there is nothing to be gained from expressing your frustration, focus on the people that are there and prepare yourself for more last minute cancellations because this is not unusual.
Post # 7
I can totally appreciate you wanting to put him in his place, tell him how crap they both are and how weddings are not cheap and they have wasted your time and money.
But unfortuantely as you work with him, it would be best to just be civil and just back away from the friendship a little (considering he doesnt value it enough to come alone to your wedding). So I would go with what PP said… as hard and sucky as that is. Maybe post texts here of what you wish you could say to get it out of your system. Sometimes it is good to get a friend to role play with you so you feel like you actually had the conversation you wanted to, without it affecting anyone.
Post # 8
- Wedding: August 2018 - Location
Yeah that really sucks but there’s nothing to say.
Post # 9
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
Agree with PP. Just say, “thank you for letting me know” and leave it at that. There is nothing more you need to say. Absolutely make whatever adjustments to your interactions with them as you see fit in the future.
Post # 10
- Wedding: September 2019 - City, State
Does it suck yea but will it solve anything if you tell him how you really feel? No. I would just say like the other pp’s said sorry you can’t make it. Things happen your not going to get the answer’s that you want so don’t worry about it. You have to work with him and it may become really awkward. Just enjoy your wedding it’s your day.
Post # 11
What I’d like to say: “You do realize that our final numbers were due this week and we will have to pay for the fact that something better than our wedding came up at the very last minute.”
What I would say: I’m sorry to hear that.
Post # 12
Hahah i would totally say what weddingmaven :
said. It’s a pretty good response.
Op it really depends on if your work would be negatively impacted by you calling him out or not. If it would actually effect your work then just let it go. If it wouldn’t really matter and after his behavior you won’t be friends with him anymore going forward than maybe say something if you want to.
But I secretly hope you say what weddingmaven said to say bc this guy deserves to know how rude he is.
Post # 13
I’m a big fan of a classic response:
Post # 14
I would do the total dick thing and just reply:
Lower case. No punctuation. Let him stew in it.