(Closed) Friend begging me to bring on/off boyfriend

posted 4 years ago in Guests
  • poll: Invite him or no?

    Invite him?

    No way!

  • Post # 17
    Member
    1011 posts
    Bumble bee

    I just don’t understand the concept of every single solo guest being given a +1. Maybe I’m missing something. So if you invite 100 people (PEOPLE, not couples) and 50 are single, that would mean having to budget for an extra 50. Or else making the cut of cutting people you really want there so people you may not even know can come. I guess my etiquette isn’t up to par, because I’ve just never understood that (especially when each person can be $100/head. That’s $5,000. Now if its just a couple people, then maybe. A few hundred could be budgeted. But when its $5,000? 

    But the point was, they weren’t even together when the invites went out. What would happened, just saying, if boyfriend was invited as +1 (with his name). Then they break up and she starts dating someone else? That’s why things like that get sticky… again, just saying… 

    Post # 18
    Member
    2394 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Sorry, looks like I’m in the minority, but you invited a guest, and she has a SO. I think you’re in a grey area only because they weren’t together when invites went out. I think it’s generally rude to invite a friend and exclude their SO. Since your friend is “back on” and you’re not at capacity with the kids in the other room, I would invite him. 

    I had a cousin who was in a relationship when invites went out, but they weren’t “public” yet. She let me know a couple of weeks after invites went out that she did indeed have a SO, though the relationship was still very new, and we added him to her invitation. 

    Since they weren’t together when invites went out I don’t think you HAVE to invite him, but I understand that she wouldn’t want to attend without her SO.

    Post # 19
    Member
    2889 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    My personal view is that all my single guests are getting a +1, whether or not I know their guest.  A lot of people don’t agree with that, but when I was single I appreciated given the opportunity to bring somone.

    I would have given her the +1 option to her on again/off again boyfriend vs inviting a friend you’re not even close to.  Would it really be that big a deal to invite one extra person?  If they’re really that unstable he may not even come, but the gesture would go a long way with your friend.

    The topic ‘Friend begging me to bring on/off boyfriend’ is closed to new replies.

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