Post # 1
Okay… I just need to vent and get some advice. lol.
My friend is getting married far away… She asked her sister to be Maid/Matron of Honor, then she said another friend was Maid/Matron of Honor, then I seem to be the only one going so I consider myself a default Maid/Matron of Honor. lol. Which I am fine with because I have not known her that long.
But about a month ago she told me her sister is planning a stagette party for her… originally she told me she was just going to have a stagette on the resort (which is what I did when I got married because I didn’t want everyone to go through the trouble of planning a party for me and I wanted my sister there).
So, I told her I would like to help out but now it seems like everything is dumped on my plate… her sister texted me and more less asked me what do I have planned. The bride keeps saying she wants this charter thing… and I know this costs min. $600… she told me she has a guest list of about 30 girls to come which would have been reasonable. When I got the list most of the girls don’t even live in the same province… we will probably have 10 girls there.
She keeps bringing it up and mentioning stuff to me and right now I am working 50 + hours a week, my husbands birthday is in 2 weeks, then our anniversary 5 days after that AND I am in school so I am starting to get stressed.
She also asked if I can have it at my house… which I know I am going to be stuck with the bill for snacks, deco’s and all that stuff. I just feel like she is being a bit unreasonable by pushing things when she didn’t do anything for my wedding (she was a BM). I feel like I am being mean but I already spent 3400 for myself and my husband to go to her wedding and 300 for a dress and shoes.
Does anyone else think I am being unreasonable? How should I handle this? Thanks everyone… It felt good to vent! lol.
Post # 3
I think you should talk to her about what you can realistically give her with regards to budget and time. She may have gotten swept up in wedding-land and has just forgotten what it feels like to be out that much money when it isn’t your event. Gently bring her back to reality – I wouldn’t be comfortable spending that much money – no matter who the friend was!
Post # 4
I totally agree with Crayfish – please take a moment to write down what she has asked and let her review her list of demands and ASK HER if she remembers that you wanted to help out, not take the brunt of it. I think it’s not a ‘job’ for just one person. Please tell her you are going to need help, and need a realistic budget.
Already, 3,700$ is alot!!!!!! and you’re not even her sister.
Post # 5
Tell the other girls that you need money before you buy/do anything. If theres no money from anyone, then go to a dollar store for decorations and buy a box of saltine crackers. Drastic but you know what, i’d be pissed off if i were you. As for a charter, that is alot of money! ask her to chip in if that’s what she wants to do. Just because that’s what she WANTS to do, doesn’t mean that is what you have to do.
Post # 6
I don’t think you’re being unreasonble at all. I agree with Crayfish, she needs to be brought back to reality.
You have already spent a lot of money to go to her wedding, it’s a bit unreasonable to ask you to shell out more for a stagette.
I’m actually going through something similar with a friend that is doing a DW. I personally think that it’s way too much to expect of your guests to attend all of the pre-wedding events and contribute to that (Shower gift, bachelorette/stagette) and then also pay for the trip itself.
Post # 7
Just talk to her about it and set boundaries on how much you are willing to spend