(Closed) Friend DJ at my wedding???

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@miss_melissa:  I would be honest with your friend and tell him how you feel. This is you and your FI’s wedding and you want to make sure that your guests have a good time and I think that can be difficult if you don’t have a decent DJ. I would still invite him to the wedding as a sign of goodwill. 

Post # 4
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Gosh, this is a tough one. To be honest I myself would never ask a friend to be any sort of vendor at my wedding. I only say this because from experience I’ve seen friends be a bit more lax in their service with someone they know and have a relationship with rather than someone new that they are possibly trying to retain as a permanent client (or someone who will refer more people to their service.) What I would do would be call him and say, “Hey _____, Fiance and I have done some talking and we’ve decided that we really want you present AT our wedding enjoying the day with everyone else. We want you to be a guest, not a vendor.” If you didn’t like what you saw at his last wedding, don’t settle and hire him! If he’s a true professional he won’t fight your request. : )

Post # 5
Member
4284 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@miss_melissa:  Tell him how you feel. We have a friend who is an amazing photographer. He was a little upset when we didn’t use him but we honestly wanted our friends to enjoy our wedding and not have to work it. Go in with that aspect. You want him as a guest not a vendor. GL

Post # 7
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@RoyalLime:  I would agree there. You want to be able to have your friends there to share the day and celebrate with you.

Post # 8
Member
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Why don’t you a) ask him if he’d like to switch roles – become a groomsman instead of DJ or b) create an air-tight playlist for him, so that you know you’ll be happy with what he plays?

Honestly, I don’t love the idea of friendors…so I’d see if you can switch it up – add him to the wedding party and tell him you’d like him to enjoy the wedding, relax and just be a guest and/or groomsman.

ETA: just a reminder that you have no guarantee that the non-friend DJ that you may or may not end up with will end up being a great DJ.  Sometimes people have off nights…

Post # 9
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@miss_melissa:  Could you still add him as a part of your wedding party. I have seen weddings where the wedding party line is uneven but who cares? They are there to stand for you and share the celebration with you. Just a thought…

Post # 11
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

if you heard him play and didn’t like it, why on earth would you hope it would be different for your wedding? Just be honest and tell him thanks for the offer but you’ve decided to go in a different direction.

You can give him constructive feedback if you feel comfortable – it will help him with his business in the future.

Post # 12
Member
7412 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Tell him you have had a change of heart and dont’ want to mix business with friendship.

Post # 14
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

If you are not paying him you have to just deal with it. If you want the security of having a kickass DJ you gotta pay

Post # 15
Member
1832 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Just tell him you guys changed your mind. That you have decided to not mix business with friends or family, and that you are going to hire a DJ, that you and your fiance want all of your friends to have fun at the wedding reception, and not have to be WORKING. Don’t suggest this idea to him, just tell him this is what you guys want to do. He won’t know its because he wasn’t very good at your sisters birthday party. Don’t let him try to talk you out of it. He should not get mad if you explain it this way. 🙂

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