(Closed) Friend engagement/wedding jealousy

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

futuremilibee:  so weird I just posted something similar about a cousin who will be getting married the same month I am. I am not a hater nor jealou, but there is that little twinge that pops up whenever someone mentions her wedding then mine what she is doing then what I am doing. I received her invitati 2 days after I sent mine out and all I could do was stare at it read every line and so on. You are not alone these “feelings” happen then pass just remember at the end of your day you have your guy and happy ending.

Post # 3
Member
2087 posts
Buzzing bee

I just want to say, when you have feelings like this, as much as you think you’re doing a good job hiding them, most people can pick up on your negative feelings. 

Post # 4
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee

Well, have you guys done deep contemplation on the root cause of the “hater” feelings you guys have for these individuals?  

Personally I find that I am more concerned for time wasted if I start feeling these hater attitude.  Whenever I do, I think, “these feelings are so useless and they take time and concentration away from something important.”  I mean I could be using all that emotion for something more productive like writing, painting, or something.  

 

Post # 5
Member
2713 posts
Sugar bee

 

I’m glad you’re not my “friend”.

Post # 8
Member
6370 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

There are so many important and positive things in life to focus on.

Post # 9
Member
4085 posts
Honey bee

futuremilibee:  Unfortunately you’ll get a lot of backlash for this post because several posters here on WB are perfect and have never made mistakes, EVER. 

Anyways, I can relate to how you feel. I’m sure others can too, but don’t want to admit it. Lots of people feel jealous from time to time. Before I got engaged, and I saw so many of my friends getting engaged, I did get a little sad. Happy for them, of course, but I really wanted that for myself too. 

You just have to keep reminding yourself that your time will come. Try to be happy for your friends. What you’re feeling is ok – you can’t help how you feel. But you can help how you react to those feelings, so make sure you don’t do anything to let them know that this is how you feel. 

Post # 10
Member
1845 posts
Buzzing bee

futuremilibee:  The only advice I have is to build a bridge.

I’ve been on the receiving end of said friendship jealousy, and I’m sure at some points I’ve dished it out too. But it’s not cool. These are your FRIENDS, you should be stoked for them. You are all engaged and planning weddings and taking steps in your lives together – enjoy it!

As for thinking it’s a competition. It’s not, and you need to get that thinking out of your head. Your wedding will be your wedding, and beautiful because of that. Their wedding will be their wedding, and beautiful because of that. Your lives will constantly move forward at similar rates, but you can’t always try to one up people. If you live your life struggling to beat people you will never stop to enjoy the moment.

Post # 12
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee

I used to feel that way when I was in bad relationships. Jealous of what they had, in turn because my relationship was lacking. 

The more my relationship evolved with Boyfriend or Best Friend (now FI) I was way too happy to compare us with other people.

I know this may not be what you want to hear, but maybe you need to sort this out within yourself? Or counseling?  

It’s bizarre to judge someone as low class with a well paying job facade And deem her unworthy based of “superficial reasons”. 

This could be a great opportunity to reevaluate your thinking and do some soul searching. 

 

Post # 13
Member
910 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

futuremilibee:  I can get where you are coming from although my situation was more with family than with friends.  I come from a very large family with lots and lots of females. When I got married and engaged I barely got a compliment or a congratulations. Fast forward a year- when my cousin got married all I heard from family to my cousin where “you are so gorgeous”,  “your wedding is so beautiful” and tons of facebook posts, comments, etc.  I was a little hurt that my cousin got so much love for her wedding and I got essentially none.  It was eye opening and I cannot help but look at my family the same. 

 

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