- 4 years ago
aCOWbee: But also hypothetically speaking if person A feels person B is a horrible person. Person A never tells Person B and never knows Person A feels this way. Yes person A is judging person B but how does that hurt/change person B’s life….not at all.
I know you feel like it’s impossible that people have guessed what you’re thinking, but in my experience these things always come through in small ways. I have an engaged friend who congratulated me and sent a gift when I got engaged, but a few little looks, comments and incidents have added up to mutual friends saying to me, hey, do you ever get the feeling that X is trying to complete with you? I’ve tried to shrug it off but I’m only human, so I’ve just distanced myself from her in an attempt to keep things civil (and thus, my pissy feelings are coming through).
I will say that the negative things you said about the other person in your post appear to be indicative of particular attitudes. I think it’s one thing to say “I feel like X isn’t very nice” and rather another to say “I think X is low class” (especially juxtaposed with the self-characterisation of being a person who values “quality”). It’s possible a bunch of “Person As” in your life have picked up on those attitudes… and maybe that’s why they have congratulated you “less” than other people. Might be something to think about.