I was on the other end of this.
I was engaged for 6 months or so (family & close people knew since day 1) before some relatives found out and a few of them were quite jealous of me for being very young (compared to them) and marrying ‘out of my league’. I didn’t want to tell because some of them just got engaged/married so I didn’t want to steal anyone’s thunder and I knew their reaction wouldn’t all be positive.
One of them went as far as making sure my close aunt didn’t attend my wedding by bringing my aunt (her mother) for a trip that clashes with my wedding. Keep it mind she’s over 30+ (more than 10 years older than me) and just got married this year, she’s jealous that I’m getting married at a far younger age than her and didn’t attend her wedding (it was out of my hands for that).
Surprisingly, it didn’t hurt me that she did what she did. I thought it was sad of them that my relatives couldn’t be genuinely happy for me, and it definitely was one of the stamps that sealed my decision to live my own life without caring for any of their thoughts because they hold little to no regard of me. I cannot continue to please them at the expense of my happiness.
I was also on your end, but not really feeling jealous, more like feeling it was unfair.
We were in a ldr for over 1 year and half then getting engaged. Some friends of his made comments that they thought we were a bit quick to get engaged (they thought we were only together for a year thanks to a friend’s misinformation) or this lady that barely knows my husband even went ahead and told my husband that she is worried for our relationship because I am not a Christian after she found out we were engaged, I also think that she thinks I’m in this for a visa, not love. But they also have friends that got engaged within 6 months and married then next 3, or just the other day, there’s a couple they all know that got engaged after 11 months. Yet the response isn’t the same.
I feel it’s unfair because we were in a ldr which is tougher than a normal close distance relationship, and also, because I am not a Christian, therefore our relationship is judged harsher than the rest who are Christians from the same church. It is as though because I’m not a Christian, our choice in getting married is not as trustworthy or well thought out as the rest. As if all marriages that ends in divorce consists of only non Christians. And it isn’t Christian of them to be judging our relationship anyway.
As unfair as it is, it is life, and life is unfair. So I express my thoughts to my husband and continue with our lives. Oh well. C’est la vie. We can’t help to feel what we feel, but we can certainly help with what we want to do next.