(Closed) Friend expects to be bridesmaid–but is an irresponsible and on-and-off friend??

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2497 posts
Buzzing bee

@MrsBtoBe14:  I think it’s pretty clear that you shouldn’t ask her to be a bridesmaid. Hurt feelings shouldn’t be a reason to invite someone who isn’t a good friend.

Post # 4
Member
3688 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Don’t ask her. She may be hurt, but she’ll get over it if she’s a real friend. And if she doesn’t, you’re not missing out on anything. Save yourself the headache!

Post # 6
Member
3211 posts
Sugar bee

@MrsBtoBe14:  Please don’t ask her to be in your wedding. If you do, you will end up posting about your awful Bridesmaid or Best Man who wants nothing to do with your wedding. I don’t think you should feel obligated to ask her. She can go sulk in a corner and you can go have the time of your life.

Post # 7
Member
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MrsBtoBe14:  I would not ask her to be a bridesmaid. One thing I have learned from this whole experience that is wedding planning (of the many lessons learned…) is that the people I had hoped to count on as bridesmaids aren’t as helpful or reliable as I had expected. Don’t get me wrong, I love my bridesmaids, but if I had had reservations about asking them to be in my wedding from the start, I definitely wouldn’t want them in my wedding. I agree with PPs, save yourself the headache! 

Post # 10
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@MrsBtoBe14:  Better to do with anger and sulking for a bit than to deal with the months of headaches from her complaining about cost/responsibility and her never showing up to anything. Seriously — an unresponsive, unsupportive bridesmaid is a super-headache.

Post # 11
Member
7652 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Don’t ask her. Otherwise, you are going to be like the countless of other girls on here that are hating their BMs because she won’t help out. If she gets mad at you for this, it isn’t like you are losing much by the sound of it, since she seems to distance herself already.

Post # 13
Member
2902 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Are you asking all the girls from your friend group? How many are you having and is she the only one left out?

Sounds like you are only asking her so you don’t hurt her, not because she is someone you want to stand up with you.

 

Post # 14
Member
3779 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MrsBtoBe14:  You’ll end up regretting if it you ask her. Save yourself the drama and only ask the girls you know will do it with a happy heart.

 

I have a “friend” we’ll call M. I was in M’s wedding, but we have since drifted apart. She is on my guest list, but I did not ask her to be a bridesmaid. She hasn’t responded to my asking for her address, so I assume she doesn’t want to come because I didn’t ask her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. 

Post # 15
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

i wouldn’t ask her either. my three bridesmaids are like sisters to me – they’ve held me when i cried, helped me pack up my stuff when i moved, and let me stay with them when i ran away from an abusive ex. I would never ask someone as self-centered as this person sounds like… your wedding is all about you, but it also is about recognizing and acknowledging the people who have helped to make you WHO you are…. clearly she hasn’t been that great of an influence (or a friend).

 

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