(Closed) Friend EXPECTS to be maid of honor

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
3255 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@RoseyBee: Do you live in the same town? Or is she really busy? Maybe you could come up with some reason that it would make more sense to have the other girl without hurting her…

Post # 4
46372 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Too bad you didn’t tell her when you had that conversation. Unless that conversation was a long time ago, before you met your college friend,it would have been the ideal time to tell her. She would have had some time to get used to the idea instead of still expecting to be your Maid/Matron of Honor.

I don’t think you need to give a reason when you ask her to be a bridesmaid. Just ask her.

If she comes right out and asks her why she isn’t Maid/Matron of Honor, tell her that you treasure your friendship and have chosen her as a bridesmaid because of that.

Post # 5
1235 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I wouldnt worry about this stuff until you are engaged. Unless her potential Maid/Matron of Honor status comes up regularly in conversation, odds are she wont ask when you do ask her to be a bridesmaid.

Post # 6
341 posts
Helper bee

Why not have a Maid/Matron of Honor and Matron of Honor? Ask her to be Maid/Matron of Honor and your college friend MatronOH then both are happy. 

And I agree with PP, dont worry about this until youre actually engaged

Post # 7
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree with KarenA, if you can do that.

But here’s the other thing, real friends just want to support you. If you wind up making her a bridesmaid, then she should be very happy for the gesture even if it makes her a little bummed.  If she gets upset and throws her weight around, then she’s not a real friend.

I also agree with Julies, if you are in the position where it comes up again, be truthful about it. It will soften the blow after you are engaged so that you can just focus on you and your fiance’s big news and not her feelings.

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