- 5 years ago
Since this is not wedding related, I wasn’t sure in which forum to put this- I hipe it’s fine here.
This morning, I got a very strange message from an old friend (girl) of mine on Facebook. We were very good friends for most part of high school, but when we were about 17 I started dating a guy that wasn’t good for me, she disliked him a lot and started doing pretty mean things to me (not inviting me anymore to stuff, telling people rumors about me and that guy etc.), so we stopped being friends for a couple of years. When we were 22, we started being friends again because both of us started a Master’s program in the same city so we started having contact again. She never apologized for what she did in high school, but I forgave her anyway because I was thinking whatever, it was high school and a million years ago. We started being very good friends again and hanging out a lot til the end of the Master program.
Then she moved to a different country and so did I. We still managed to keep in touch, at least once in two months or so (phone, Facebook, Whatsapp). We kept meeting at least once per year around Xmas in our home town and had a lot of fun. Then, after Christmas 2013 (I was 25, she was 26), the contact got a little less frequent, but I still never doubted that we’re friends. Christmas 2014 we wanted to meet again and I waited for her to tell me where to meet. Then she just texted me saying she’s already at place XX and I should just go there. I was a bit disappointed because I felt like she doesn’t really care if I’m there or not, because she’s already there with other friends. I went there anyway, it’s a pretty big bar, but I didn’t find her, so I went back home and texted her that I didn’t find her. She just texted back ‘You’re an idiot hahahaha’ and ‘We were at the bar, it was so easy to find us!’. We wrote a bit more and then she just stopped responding. I felt a bit hurt, but thought, whatever.
We then didn’t have contact til yesterday, almost 9 months later. I wrote her a message for her birthday (after she only wrote ‘happy birthday’ on my wall for my bday) and asked if she’s fine and what’s new in her life. She responded and we talked for a few minutes. She told me she dated a guy for six weeks, a guy we both still know from high school. I told her that I think that’s very funny and she just responded with a smiley. I asked her what went wrong and why they broke up and she replied ‘Well I liked him but then he didn’t give me what I wanted so I broke up’. Not more. Since we hadn’t talked for so long and the last time we talked wasn’t very friends-like, I didn’t ask more because I thought, maybe she doesn’t want to share more details. I also asked her about her job and her life and we talked for 5 minutes more. Then she said she had to go and I said bye and hope to see you soon.
This morning then, I had a huge message of her on Facebook. She basically told me how disappointed she is of me, because I acted ‘completly arrogant’ and if I was better than her, because I said I find it funny when she told me she dated this guy from high school for six weeks and because I didn’t ask her if she’s okay after the break up. She wrote she didn’t expect such a reaction from me as a friend and that it was completly appropriate and mean and that she finds it really incredible. I thought- WTF?? First, she doesn’t make any effort to meet me last Xmas, then she stopped responding and didn’t talk to me at all til I write her a birthday message yesterday. Then I ask her about her life and her job and everything and SHE was the one who said ‘Oh by the way, I dated XXX (from high school) for six weeks :D’ so I thought she also finds this kind of funny (since she’s 28 now, it was a guy from high school, they dated for only six weeks and she even sent a smiley), that’s why I said that this is funny and haha. I even asked her what went wrong with him and she just responded in once sentence so I just changed topic. And since we hadn’t talked for so long, why would I assume she wants to share the details with me?
I’m really sitting here not knowing what to respond. After her last relationship ended a couple of years ago (a guy she dated for two years), I was there for her because we lived in the same city, I came to her house and listened to her, helped her to get over it. I wasn’t a bad friend at all, never. And now she thinks she can call me arrogant and all those other things because of one short Facebook chat (that I even initiated)?
Bees tell me, am I in the wrong here? Or what do you think? I don’t even know what to respond.