(Closed) Friend Getting married a week before me

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@ashleyr1215:  I don’t think it’ll take away from your wedding. Are both your weddings local? How much overlap is there on the guest list?

 

Post # 4
Member
412 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

How close of a friend is she? Is she standing up in your wedding / you in hers?

Post # 5
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I have one good friend getting married two weeks before me, and a longtime friend getting married a week after. That’s one of the hazards of picking a popular month for our area.

The only issue we’re having is that some of our pre-wedding things are interfering with the first wedding – FI’s bach party will keep him from going to the first wedding, since that was the only weekend they could all do.

In any case… it seems like a big deal, but it’ll be fine. Just coordinate showers, parties, etc, if there’s a lot of overlap of your guest list.

Post # 6
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m curious to see the responses to this thread, because I have a good friend who is getting married less than a week after we are (we booked our date first, if it matters) and I’m seriously considering not attending her wedding so we can honeymoon right after our wedding. 

Post # 7
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee

I don’t get why this bothers people. It’s not like you’re getting married on the exact same day.  You are having a wedding because you love your fiance and want to spend the rest of your life with the man you love, correct? I don’t see how anyone can take away from your wedding then. 

Post # 8
Member
1390 posts
Bumble bee

Ah the scheduling drama. First, keep in mind that no matter how hurt or frustrated you feel, she’s not going to change her date. So do your best to accept it. If she’s in your wedding, you’re going to have to do a lot of schedule manuevering to make sure showers and parties are all ‘doable’ for everyone. I had three girlfriends who got married one summer so they had a co-bachlorette party. It was called Bride Wars and there was a scavanger hunt and over 40 girls. In short, it was amazing. There are fun things you can do, so keep that in mind!

And for a touch of commiseration: my Future Sister-In-Law is planning her July 2013 wedding. She is throwing herself an engagement/graduation party in May, 4 weeks before our wedding. They live 7 hours away. It’s pretty unlikely that we can attend so on the event page I marked myself as a ‘Maybe.’ We’d like to go but it may not be possible. There are work and school constraints in addition to wedding planning, etc. She switched her event response from ‘Going’ to ‘Maybe’ for our local reception. I was pretty mad when I saw it but you know what? It’s your wedding. Enjoy your day. Go to whatever you can of her day but don’t kill yourself if you can’t get to every shower, party, etc. And truly, just focus on your own wedding and enjoying your moment.

Post # 9
Member
2416 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

There are six trillion people getting married in the months around my wedding…that being said, If i were planning to pick a date within a couple of weeks of a friend, I would chat with them about it because that’s how I am. Fiance has friends who are getting married exactly 2 weeks after us. They called us from their venue to verify our date, and said that they would plan it two weeks before or two weeks after as they want us all to be able to attend each others weddings. I thought it was totally unecessary for them to call us, but super duper considerate. I really appreciated it. That being said, I don’t think it will take away from anyones wedding…sometimes it’s just that time in your life when everyone gets married…

Post # 10
Member
1568 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I wouldn’t think anything of it. A few summers ago, 3 couples in our same circle of friends all got married weeks within eachother. Some couldn’t attend other weddings because of their honeymoons, but everyone was mature about it and it never became an issue. Everyone ended up with their own special day!

Post # 11
Member
1200 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree with @SpartyGirl in that I have never understood why this is an issue. Even if there is a large guest overlap, I don’t see why it matters. You’re still going to get your special day as the center of attention. People aren’t going to stop being happy for you because someone else is getting married as well. I really don’t see what difference it makes whether her wedding is one week or one month away from yours. I hope this is not something you allow to upset you for the next 10 months.

Post # 12
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

there are only 52 weekends in a given year and choices are limited – this is her date, be happy for eachother and on your wedding day you wont even be thinking about it

Post # 13
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I understand that it could be frustrating, only because there will be some guest overlap and people may need to travel twice in as many weekends.  But each wedding will be different and lovely in its own right, you really have noting to worry about.

One of my bridesmaids has a wedding in my area 5 days after mine.  I offered her use of our apartment because we will be on our honeymoon, and she’s travelling from out of state.

Post # 14
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I am sure that she didnt’ pick the date to upstage you. I picked my wedding date and one of my bridesmaids wanted me to pick another date beacuse she was Maid/Matron of Honor in another wedding that day. Originally I changed it but I put it back on my original date because it had sentimental value.

The date really does matter. It’s a date you are going to remember and celebrate for the rest of your life.

Post # 14
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2014

This is totally OK as long as she is not apart of your bridal party. If she is apart of your bridal party thats a pretty selfish move. 

Post # 15
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

Last summer, I was invited to a weedding every weekend for five weeks, then two weeks off, then two more. Yes, there was some guest overlap.

 

Common age to get married + common month to get married = people are going to get married close to your date. It’s not the end of the world, and not worth your emotional energy.

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