(Closed) Friend going braless around hubby

posted 4 years ago in Married Life
Post # 136
Member
1739 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

If my friend told me to put on a bra or robe when I’m just hanging out at night wearing my jammies or my comfy-hanging-out-not-planning-to-go-anywhere clothes, I would think she had lost her damn mind.  I thought women getting the vapors was a thing of the past.  

I’m all for a sense of decorum when I’m at work.  Or at a wedding.  Or at any other event that calls for a sense of decorum.  (ETA:  and decorum does not necessarily require a bra, although it does mean clothing appropriate for the setting). But hanging out at night while staying at a friend’s house?  Please.  I guess you don’t *really* mean it when you tell your guests to make themselves at home.

Post # 137
Member
3163 posts
Sugar bee

FREE THE NIPPLE! 

 

Post # 138
Member
9076 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I wouldn’t. I go braless all the time and trust me, I don’t want anyone’s husband except my own. If she wants attention, trust your husband enough to not give it to her. If you can’t, well, that’s an issue with your husband instead. I wouldn’t say a word.

Post # 139
Member
1707 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2016 - Garden

It would be very inappropriate and rude if your friend walks around braless (with a shirt) in front to your husband, like no common sense at all. If she knows it, that’s even worse! But if she is unaware of it, then yes, tell her. That’s embarrassment in itself, more embarrassing to watch your husband not saying anything and just looking. Sorry bee that you had to deal with that. 

Post # 140
Member
2320 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

View original reply
princessbee1991 :  Personally I wouldn’t want to be married to a man that was either embarrassed or stared openly at an outline of a nipple on my close friend as she was comfy in our home, probably getting ready to go to bed.

That, i.e. my husband, would be the thing I found embarassing and inappropriate and rude.

Post # 141
Member
2120 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
MrsKing212 :  Amen. Also FWIW aussiemum1248  there is quite a difference between a full naked body and focusing in on someone’s nipple outlines. Honestly, if my friend wanted to wander around my house naked, I still don’t think I would care. If she’s that comfortable in her own skin, I bloody applaud her! I would trust that my fiancé would know not to stare at her boobs/butt/pubic area and would be respectful, but I would expect her to please not sit directly on my furniture in the nude. 

Post # 142
Member
3242 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

What about dresses where bras don’t look right under? Or bikinis?? Like, you can’t hide your nipples in swimmers once your soaked! Gawd, hide your men!!!!! And me. I like lady nips too. Shield me for I might stumble.  .  .

Post # 143
Member
3029 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

It wouldn’t bother me. Some people believe in bra free and it being healthier. Anatomy is anatomy to me. My Fiance is a grown man and I don’t believe in the concept of all men being so easily impressionable. If I saw the outline of a dick, I’m not going to swoon. My partner seeing a nipple isn’t going to be a reason that’d make him stray. 

At the end of the day, you don’t really have a right to dictate how someone else dresses their body. So, if it bothers you, maybe stop inviting this friend over. If they inquire, then I guess you should be honest in that it makes YOU uncomfortable due to your own sexual ized views on feminine anatomy.

Post # 144
Member
8897 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

It really says a lot about your relationship if your friend not wearing a bra is such a big deal. FML. It is bad enough when men try and opress women but women opressing other women. Ugh.

Post # 145
Member
1001 posts
Bumble bee

Dude, you can clearly see my nipples about 50% or more of the time through a bra AND a shirt, sometimes through a bra, shirt, and sweatshirt.  All it takes is a slight breeze or a little chill and BAM, I’m cutting glass with those things.  Should I wear an armored breastplate in order to be allowed out in public?

These standards are ridiculous.

Post # 146
Member
2141 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

erm no… NEVER

I use to go braless all the time before my mastectomy as people said with small boobs it was more comfortable, many friends do and sometimes if its not hurting I still do now… it is NO ONE elses business to tell someone what they can do with their body and the fact you think you have a right to is shocking

if your prudish thats your issue but it does NOT impact others rights and I cant remember being oppressivly forced to wear bras 24/7 because others cant control their husbands being a law

I also find the idea that boobs are automatically sexual bizzare… think about it, bras are more sexualised than bare breast – boobs are just natural but when you push them up into unnatural shapes, with padding in firey red satin, trimmed with lace and little charms that far more sexual than sitting round drinking a beer in a t-shirt with no bra

Post # 147
Member
1581 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

After having male housemates for 5+ years, i definitely gave up hiding my nipples at all times.  Suprisingly, my Fiance did not reign me in for my outlandish behaviour.  We had a female housemate for about a year who had at least DD who would walk around without a bra at night or in the morning.  Boobs are boobs and bras are uncomfy. if she wasnt being flirtatious, get over it

 

Post # 148
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Hm…this would not offend me.  I am an aerialist and am constantly around friends and colleagues who wear teeny outfits.  It does not bother me if they hang out with us while in a sports bra and booty shorts.  Honestly, who cares?  If she is comfortable that way, more power to her!  

Post # 149
Member
510 posts
Busy bee

Partner and I use to live with his bestfriend and his gf. She would always go around the house braless. To us, it was no big deal. 

Post # 150
Member
3460 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

View original reply
aussiemum1248 :  Absolutely. Imagine being married to a man that you respect so little that you will allow your friends to have free reign to do/say/wear whatever inappropriate thing they choose, whilst simultaneously telling your husband to “look elsewhere” if he’s uncomfortable. No indeed. I’m sorry that you specifically prefer to wear that translucent shirt without a bra, but I’m going to ask you to cover up. Not because I’m trying to tread on your rights or whatever. But because we’re uncomfortable with it. And in my house, no one’s comfort trumps that of those whose names are on the deed. 

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