(Closed) Friend going braless around hubby

posted 4 years ago in Married Life
Post # 151
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

H and I would probably giggle about it together before BFing and not even notice after 6 months of me BFing out child.  After using my breasts as nature intended my perspective is different.  Some will argue that since we have sexualized breasts in the U.S. we should coverup, but I think a perspective switch is more appropriate than conforming to societal ridiculousness.

Post # 152
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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soymilk :  hahaha I said the same thing to my fi! I was telling him about this and he’s said, “Well I would probably notice and it might kind of catch me off guard but then I would just not look.” EXACTLY! if his friend was staying over and I noticed the outline of his junk in basketball shorts or something I would just not look at his crotch again. Like of course sometimes these things happen and you notice something like that but then you just stop looking at it! hahah it’s not that hard. Am I going to make male overnight guests where thick enough sweatpants so I don’t catch a glimps of their wiener outline?  hahaha no, I want my guests to be comfortable and I can easily just not look at things like that.

Post # 153
Member
502 posts
Busy bee

In your house say something in hers don’t. 

Post # 154
Member
3242 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

And with this thread, thats me done on weddingbee. I cannot and will not continue to online socialise with anti feminist women. For those of you who are on the same page as me, it’s been a fun ride and I wish you a lot of luck. For every other woman actively policing women’s clothing choices, I have no words. You get no words.   

Post # 155
Member
719 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

I feel like maybe she didn’t realize the shirt was see through…I think not wearing a bra is fair game when it’s night and you guys are lounging in pj type clothes, but I bet she didn’t realize how exposed she was haha.

Post # 156
Member
1183 posts
Bumble bee

So, having found how heated this thread has got absolutely hilarious (but then I find quite a lot of the threads ont he Bee about modesty standards amusing), I’ve asked my DH for his thoughts on this:

DH says he literaly doesn’t see a problem with it. He also felt like it’s fine if the OP just feels a bit uncomfortable to say something but finds a lot of the posts about her DH having to look elsehwere and ‘It’s just not appropriate’ to be quite degrading towards men as well as the OPs friend as if men can’t manage to deal with the female form.

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Yipeebee :  It saddens me how many posts on here show a massive anti-feminist vibe. Especially like ‘women are free, but they should use their freedom to be modest and not be a stumbling block to men’ and ‘I’m all for feminism and equal rights, but noooo DH can’t hang out 1-1 with a female friend. I mean I trust them both, but that’s not acceptable’ and ‘I think men and women are equal, but we’re different so women should fulfil women roles’, ‘I’m all for feminism, but the bottom line is boobs are considered sexual so breastfeeding in public is awkward’.

Post # 157
Member
970 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Regarding OP:  I would notice, hubby would notice, but nothing would be said.  (Unless she is obviously being flirty, etc, in which case the issue is definitely not the nipples).

For those of you calling each other anti-feminist: we are at an amazing time in history.  We actually have the freedom to be having these discussions and be making these decisions and determining our  thoughts and values on our own and state our opinions on others’ behavior — and should be able to do so without having to ask our husband’s opinions!  I feel like taking your voices away because you don’t agree on this one thing is giving up much too easily.  

But, I also think the OP’s post about a woman being a little offended that her friend is being boobylicious in her own private home is not remotely on par with some of the issues brought up in other comments.

My final thought is that modesty and feminism look different around the world.  If you would respect a different country’s people having a different opinion, also let people in your own country have different modesty standards, too.  Not the end of the world if a woman would rather not have the culturally erotic body parts of another woman or a man hanging out in front of her husband, her kids, herself, whomever in her own home.

Post # 158
Member
1252 posts
Bumble bee

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bzbride2277 :  I would say something to her 100%.

My first thought would be any woman knows it’s noticable when not wearing a bra. I personally wouldn’t take my bra off until in bed out of respect for my friend and her man!

Post # 159
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

It is not a big deal unless your husband is sucking her nipples

Post # 160
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

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Yipeebee :  Seriously, thank you for posting that. I was starting to feel like I had lost my mind reading some of these responses. Who the heck cares what a friend is wearing while lounging around the house?!?

Post # 161
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

OH NO!  NOT A NIPPLE!

Post # 162
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Idk what I would do. My SIL loves going braless and goes on about how sexy she thinks it is, especially when nipples are noticeable. She recently mentioned this while my husband and Brother-In-Law (both her brothers)were around and they told her it makes them uncomfortable. Because they are her brothers, most likely. But I don’t really like it myself, its kind of trashy I’m my opinion. But thats just my opinion.

Post # 163
Member
3107 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

No I would not say something. She’s not coming on to your husband or trying to entice him, she’s just in her pajamas. I’m pretty sure my husband has seen plenty of nipples in his day, I don’t think the mere outline of one will cause him to stray. I’m sure he would notice and then he would look away, because that’s the respectful thing to do. I don’t go braless around others personally, but that’s because I have always had extremely large  breasts and I’m self conscious about it, I don’t care what others choose to do. 

Post # 164
Member
13 posts
Newbee

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Overjoyed :  once again, well done. 

I would say something to her. Not in a condescending way, as she not even be aware. I believe women’s bodies are glorious! Designed to bring forth life and be desired! Understanding how much power the female body posses, I think it’s respectfull to be appropriately covered. 

Post # 165
Member
521 posts
Busy bee

I feel like Im reading a post from the 1930’s in this thread…it seriously has be shaking my head in disbelief…

Last time I checked, in all provinces and in (most? ) states, its completely LEGAL to even go outside with no bra, breasts showing, and omg, the dreaded auerolas!!!! 

But heaven forbid t time, when you are hanging out in your nightclothes or closer to bed, heaven forbid the woman, much less a friend, not wear a bra! The audacity! Seriously, this has me shaking my head in shame at us women- have we really not come far at all to shame women for seeing a breast under a shirt? Would you really shame your friend for showing her breasts through her shirt? Do you have that little confidence in your husband, that she is going to entice your husband over her see through shirt? What about the beaches? do you “trust” him enough to go there or do you have to police his eyes and what he sees there as well- because you know, breasts hanging out and such.

My sister-in-law breastfeeds all the time, and where she hid a lot “in shame” she called it, for her 1st 2 babies, for her 3rd, she breastfeeds openly with her breasts right there! Should I tell her to “cover” up if heaven forbid, my husband sees? And my husband sees this all the time- Im not like, “cover your eyes dear husband, or you will never look at my boobs the same ever again!” And yes I know breastfeeding may be considering different than this scenario, but in essescence, in botj of this scenarops you can still see boobs, and you know what, its still okay for both! Imagine that!

Are you afraid your husband is going to suddenly jump on this woman or burst into flames for seeing her nipples through her shirt? My friends and I, both girls and guys, have had many ” sleepovers” going away camping and what not, and I’ve even seen a few of them naked( guys too, again, my eyes, my eyes! Shield me!)..After swimming camping, late at night, there was some breast showing under shirts and you know what…nothing happened! No one jumped each other over thoe outline of breasts in a shirt, no one burst into flames over seeing something that is natural anyways, my husband didnt demand we leave or I tell my friend she must “Cover up” or else my husband will surely be enticed by her breasts, because you know men- thats all they’re good for….urgh…

Seriously, this opressing of woman, and shaming them for things men can do with no shame is just ridicuolous.

This is 2016, not 1930.

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