Friend got drunk and mean

posted 4 months ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
587 posts
Busy bee

I wouldn’t continue the friendship. Just fade out. 

Post # 3
Member
1296 posts
Bumble bee

Personally, I would not drink with her again. I’d only engage, cautiously, in healthier activities with her. There is usually a thread of true nature in a drunk. 

Post # 4
Member
4053 posts
Honey bee

This is an extreme case of in vino veritas. Like it or not you have just experienced a part of her, a really, really ugly part. I’d have trouble remaining her friend after that little exhibition, but I certainly wouldn’t be around her where there’s alcohol available. It’s up to you what you want to do.

Post # 5
Member
517 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Yeah, I wouldn’t continue this friendship. Most likely what she said was what she actually thinks. You could tell her what she said, or just slowly phase out the friendship. Be busy and don’t invite her to things. Did you tell her friend what she said when she got there? 

Post # 6
Member
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I wouldn’t end the friendship over that, but I would definitely never drink with her again.  Some people don’t drink well with others, and it sounds like she’s one of them. Stick to coffee dates and other non-alcoholic activities.

Post # 7
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2029

elodie2019 :  Def some truth to this as alcohol is called liquid courage.  I wouldn’t continue the friendship w/her knowing she is holding back nasty feelings.  She may do something spiteful to you and mess up your life.  Plus I don’t care how drunk you are (which I have been a couple times).  This does not excuse poor behavior.  I’ve never acted this way when drunk and certainly wouldn’t put up w/anyone that acted the way Emily did.

Post # 9
Member
530 posts
Busy bee

Personally…i wouldn’t drink w/ her again. Plus i don’t care how drunk you are either this does not excuse poor behavior! 

Post # 10
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee

I know some people like this…they are really lovely people, but drinking too much brings out this horrible angry side. That doesn’t necessarily mean she really believes all these things…I think that at the time, there’s an issue with self-esteem along with a side of guilt for being drunk and knowing you are in the wrong, and it culminates in this angry desire to lash out at everyone, saying things you don’t even mean in the moment just to hurt. 

If everything has been fine until this point, I wouldn’t necessarily end the friendship, but I also wouldn’t hang out with her again without a serious talk face-to-face about what exactly she said, how much it hurt you, how worried you were for her, and how you don’t want a repeat of that incident. If she is a decent person, this will be a wake-up call for her.

Post # 11
Member
688 posts
Busy bee

I think the text that failed to own her sh*t, failed to express much remorse, but then sent you a photo for sympathy would have me not wanting to put any more of my energy into this friendship. 

Messing up while drunk is mayyybe forgiveable if it’s a one-off (which, judging from her friend’s lack of caring, it isn’t -) 

but she’s truly showing you who she is by not responding with any desire to make amends or even find out how hurtful she might have been to you. 

What a good thing to find this out before you spent years building a friendship and putting your energy into this. 

Post # 12
Member
1083 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

Ummm … this is a hard no from me. You barely know each other. Girl bye

Image result for bye felicia

Post # 13
Member
517 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Her friend had probably seen it before and knows how she is. So probably wasn’t shocked. 

A-If you know alcohol brings out a bad side of you don’t drink. B- don’t have a bad side lol

The I was drunk reasoning doesn’t go far with me. The alcohol made me, be mean, violent, cheat on you or force myself upon you… uh no the alcohol doesn’t make you do those things, you did. Wether it’s deep seated unconscious issues or what manefesting themselves idk but it’s not an excuse.

Post # 14
Member
6169 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

limelemonlime :  I would probably cut back on spending time with her in any context. Her approach to the severity of the situation is too casual for me. If you get sloppy drunk and show your entire ass, the very least you can do is have some sincere remorse about it. Not play it off and make it about yourself and the busted lip you have as a result of your own messy behavior.

Post # 15
Member
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Her best friend’s comments made it sound like Emily either 1) truthfully dislikes you and/or 2) this is a side of Emily that you have never seen before, but also a side that her best friend is familiar with.

I wouldn’t hang out with her at least for a while.

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