Friend got drunk and mean

posted 2 months ago in Relationships
Post # 46
Member
22 posts
Newbee

I probably would not have too many drinks with her in the future , but if I liked her complany before this event , I would sluff it off . No one is perfect .

Post # 47
Member
209 posts
Helper bee

I’m going to get hammered for this … but honestly I think I’d let it go. I’m coming from the perspective of someone from a country with a massive drinking culture, and our normal is definitely shocking to most people, so I guess my views are through those lenses … Sometimes people have a terrible drunken night. I’m sure she doesn’t remember what she did so she’s trying to pretend like it didn’t happen. I’d only cut off the friendship if it happened frequently. Maybe ask for an apology for the specific insults, because you deserve that, but the stuff like falling and generally being a bit of a dick … it happens.

I also definitely don’t think the truth comes out when you are drunk. Sometimes, when I’ve been too drunk, I’ve said things I don’t mean, almost like my brain goes ‘imagine how bad it’d be to say that’ … then I do. My solution was to monitor and limit my drinking more so that I never get to that point. So when you next see her tell her the specific insults she said so that she knows what she was like and maybe learns from it.

Post # 48
Member
1575 posts
Bumble bee

She’s secretly jealous of you and that’s why the hate spilled out where she was drunk. The friend wasn’t surprised because it’s happened to her too. I’d let the friendship fizzle out.

Post # 49
Member
1575 posts
Bumble bee

Ps you sound like a lovely person, I would have left her drunk ass on the bench.

Post # 50
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2020 - City, State

Wow, that’s a crazy story. If she drank modestly at other events, this is maybe a one-off, but the fact she isn’t profusely appologizing bothers me. The bad dog mom thing also really bothers me becasue that is a very specific insult. 

Post # 51
Member
1578 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I’m surprised she kept drinking, to be honest.  That’s the most surprising part of all of it to me.  I wonder if alcoholism runs in her family. 

I agree with the PP’s that I wouldn’t end a friendship over this.  It was a one-off, and as hurtful as it was, every friendship has a one-off fight.  The mature thing to do here is to recognize she hurt you, nurse your hurt a bit, then pick yourself up. She’s single – probably all her friends are getting married at the same time and she’s beginning to get anxiety about the impending loneliness. 

Not to redeem her behavior. Just digging for a reason. 

Don’t drink with her anymore – but you said it yourself. It’s hard to find friends after college. You felt fulfilled by your friendship before this happened.

Maybe she needs you as much as you needed her. But honestly, this isn’t meant to be a BEST FRIEND situation. But no harm in just keeping a sober and casual friendship.

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