Post # 1
My good friend got engaged recently and while I’m super happy for her cause this is what she wants I’m also soooo envious!!!! I’m ashamed that I feel this way and I’ve been avoiding her bc I’m worried I won’t be able to hide my feelings. She has dated her man for the same time I’ve been with my SO and I knew a proposal was coming soon – I just wish I could feel nothing but pure happiness for her. :/
Thought I’d post this shameful feeling here cause I can’t admit it to anyone else !
Post # 3
I feel for ya! boyfriends younger brother recently got engaged…so painful to hear about all the “wedding planning” during the holiday!!!
Post # 4
Oh this is totally normal, I have been there. I am sure some of my friends felt that way when I got engaged. One day it will be your turn! 🙂
Post # 5
A girl I work with just booked off time at Christmas to get married and she just got engaged on Friday. I definitely felt the green eyed monster come out when she told me.
Post # 6
I guess I had hoped that I wouldn’t feel this way when it’s a close friend – I’m totally ok with being this way towards strangers! Lol.
Since I’m coming clean here, I have to admit that some of my envy comes from the fact that her relationship has been so rocky that they could have broken up just as easily. They’ve had huge red flag issues such that I don’t think they should get married right now….but I’m still happy for my friend cause she wants the engagement. Dang though…if THEY are engaged why am I still waiting?!?
I know I am lucky to have a great SO and that just cause another couple is engaged doesn’t mean they are happier/more committed/better than us. And that their engagement has nothing to do with my situation. But ugggggghhhhhhh!!!!! Lol. I hope this feeling subsides quickly.
Post # 7
Hmm, just saw this was postedunder relationships instead of the waiting board. Oops!
Post # 8
@cali_cat: I think it’s perfectly normal to feel that way, maybe you should talk to her, or to another friend or someone close. But having said that try to focus on how great it will be when it’s your turn 🙂 that always helps 🙂
Post # 9
I think it’s completely natural.
I had a friend who emailed me after my engagement saying that she’s been depressed ever since she heard about it. She and her ex broke up about 8 month before hand, and she had been taking it hard.
I told her that while I understood how she felt, I really am not the person to talk to about this. She appologized and sine then we’ve been fine 🙂
Post # 10
Yeah, completely 100% normal. I was so happy for my friends who got engaged a bit before we did, but I was so envious it actually upset me! I kept telling myself I shouldn’t be feeling so envious of my friend, but I couldn’t help it!
Post # 11
totally normal, I think that is pretty much everyone’s natural reaction. But you have to suck it up and put on a happy face and congratulate her…see her…gush over the ring and details becasue when it is YOUR turn I’m sure you would want the same!
Post # 12
Been there….while waiting for my proposal, THREE friends got engaged. It was really hard for me, and I just felt awful because I was truly happy for my friends. I just was on this crazy emotional rollercoaster during the waiting time.
It’s normal! And I told my friends later, after I’d gotten engaged that I was jealous, and we had a good laugh about it. 🙂
Post # 13
I think it’s normal, or at least I’ve been there and done that. My friend got engaged while SO and I were celebrating our 2 year anniversary and I wasn’t just jealous, I was angry. They hadn’t been dating as long as we had, this was her first serious boyfriend ever, etc. It made me jealous of her and wonder what was wrong with me- I think it’s natural.
If you feel jealous, be jealous. But that is your problem and not your friend’s problem so I wouldn’t talk to her about it. I put on my happy face and threw her an engagement party bc that is what I would want a friend to do for me in that situation and no one knew how devastated I was on the inside (besides SO and BFF) now I’m just waiting for my turn! 🙂
Post # 14
I think us on the waiting list have been in your shoes. Especially since it’s a friend one was once close to.
When I read my former friend got engaged I was hypo and couldn’t sit still (and no it wasn’t because I was thrilled for her) I called my sister and had a bitch session. Though when I catched up with my former friend a month later I turned on my community acting skills and pretended to be interested, asking the right questions. Oooing and arghing over the ring and the proposal. The proposal was planned and she knew about it (like wth) even down to the exact time.
Though I was completely happy for my other friends to be engaged some not as long as my relationship but I find it strange to have the jealous feelings for one particular person. Maybe because I think she didn’t deserve it especially after she boasted that when her husband was out of the house, she found the engagement ring and wore it until he came back to the house and she would put it back in it’s hiding place.
God I feel like a bitch but you might get over it with your friend. Just be there for her.
Post # 15
@Lily_of_the_valley: Yeah, I’ve congratulated her and gushed over facebook, text, and email – I was just worried that I wouldn’t be that great in person. Like another person on here wrote, they could tell when a friend was jealous of them, and I would hate for her to know that I feel anything but happy for her. I’ll see her in a week or two and by then the jealousy should have worn off I hope.
Post # 16
@cali_cat: Just remind yourself that being engaged is NOT the measure of a successful relationship. It can be hard to remember this because our society paints women who are getting married as the “winners.”
It’s kind of like how having a BMW in the garage doesn’t mean your financially successful. Maybe you are, but maybe you just have a crap load of debt.
Anyway, good luck to you! We all know how you feel. At the end of the day, I’m sure you’d never want to switch shoes with your friend, so YOU are really the lucky one! 😀