(Closed) Friend has forgotten to ask guest's dietary requirements

posted 8 years ago in Food
  • poll: Should I tell my friend she's forgotten to ask if her guest's have dietary requirements?

    Yes! She needs to know

    No! It will upset and stress her that she's forgotten

  • Post # 77
    Member
    12 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @Scc6a: +1

    The other thing to keep in mind is that omnivores can abstain from meat for a meal without violating their religious or moral beliefs. They will not starve if no meat is served at the wedding. The reverse is not true for many vegetarians.

    I’ve been to 21 (non-family) weddings in my life, and all have had vegetarian options. I thought that was pretty standard, but after reading this thread perhaps I should consider myself lucky!

    FWIW I am a vegetarian that will be serving meat at my wedding, despite the fact that meat should not be served at weddings of my family’s religion. (Shh, nobody tell the priest!)

    Post # 78
    Member
    572 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I think in general if you can provide a wealth of options for your guests that is nice, but I don’t know that it is reasonable for every person hosting a wedding. I wouldn’t hold a grudge over it, for sure. I don’t really like the whole candied pecans in salads craze but I would never complain to someone who did and offered it in a meal. :p

    I guess also I am a little non-traditional. I had a destination wedding, paid for many guests travel and hotel expenses, and we did not receive any gifts from any guest including family. We just wanted their company. We got that, and it made the day for us! So I just feel like food is so low on the totem pole of why you are attending a wedding and reception, why worry?

    Post # 79
    Member
    1497 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    View original reply
    @hismm:  That’s what it should be about. A celebration of love – not food.

    Post # 81
    Member
    8683 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    View original reply
    @Boston Bee:  I’ve never seen an invite with dietary restrictions either. Actually, most invites dont list food choices anymore…atleast not in my area/circle.

    Post # 82
    Member
    836 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    We are only offering one main meal at our wedding, so instead of having guests check off which one they prefer, I asked them to let us know if they had any dietary restrictions. I don’t want my guests to feel uncomfortable letting us know, but I also want to make sure they have something to eat so they can enjoy themselves. It won’t be difficult to find something to feed those people who are vegan/veggetarion/gluten-free, etc. and I think if I were vegetarian or something I would find it ackward to write something in or have to seek out the bride and groom to let them know. I would suck it up and just eat what I could, if possible, but I don’t want any of my guests to have to do that, personally.

    In your case I think you should decided if you think it’s worth telling her, or if you’ll take your chances.  

    Post # 83
    Member
    326 posts
    Helper bee

    I’ve never had anyone ask it on an invite. I don’t think it’s as common to ask as people think it is. 

    Post # 84
    Member
    9050 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I think you’ve already got enough answers, but I’m allergic to shellfish and lactose intolerant.  I usually take it upon myself to include a note in the RSVP or contact the venue to make arrangements myself.

    Post # 85
    Member
    3941 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I didn’t ask this on my invite.

    i’ve also never seen it. 

    So, definitely don’t say anything.  She didn’t “forget” anything. 

    Post # 86
    Member
    516 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    @princesslettuce14:  One of my very best friends used to be a pescetarian, but she called herself a vegetarian- for that same reason: because the average person doesn’t know that it’s a “thing,” let alone what the proper term is, lol!

    Post # 87
    Member
    433 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    @LadyCupcake:  Wow you sound like a great hostess.  If you invite people for dinner you should feed them a meal they can eat. You don’t expect your guests to bring a sandwich.  I’m a vegetarian and I would certainly not suddenly “choose” to eat meat for someone’s wedding.  I haven’t eaten meat since I was 13 except one time I accidentally ate pizza with pepperoni on it and I was throwing up all night from it.  Once you go 17 years without meat your body will probably reject it, just so you know.

    Personally I never make a big deal about it and usually just pick at salad and dinner rolls at weddings with no problem, but if I heard the bride had an attitude like yours about it I wouldn’t even want to attend the wedding, let alone be friends with the bride after.  Just awful.

    Post # 88
    Member
    433 posts
    Helper bee

    Double post

    Post # 89
    Member
    424 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Muckenthaler Cultural Center

    We forgot to put the meal option on our RSVPs…oops! Fortunately we were having a buffet and we knew who the vegetarians were, if we weren’t sure then we just asked!

    Post # 90
    Member
    450 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    View original reply
    @padme:  I am not saying I expect someone to eat meat at my wedding. However I will not design a menu for many around one or two people.  I am also not going to shell out a couple hundred dollars more to add an extra meal option because of someone else’s life decisions. I am assuming that the people in my life and coming to my wedding are friends with me for more reasons than the food that I serve, just as I am friends with them for more reasons than that they eat vegetarian. 

    I am most certainly not holding fire to anyone’s hands forcing them to come to my wedding and eat the food. For the one vegetarian that IS there there is salad she can eat, a few apps, bread, cake, smores bar, etc. Again she won’t be starving and fainting on the floor. If someone chose not to come because I was not serving them a meal to fit their needs. I would not be upset. It would be their choice. It is a WEDDING… not a bunch of us going out to dinner. But with many people coming a long distance, I don’t think the 2 decisions I gave (both meat, because one contains chicken stock) has deterred anyone. So the loss of you at my wedding and as my friend, won’t go noticed. 

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