(Closed) Friend having to bail, and not offering to replay, update..long, sorry

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I would first see if you could get any money back from the airline yourself.  Then I would ask her directly to pay (either for the total cost, or for whatever remaining money you couldn’t get back if you are able to get a partial refund.)  Don’t wait for her to offer- tell her that she owes you the money and keep telling her until she pays.  However if she does pay and the airline offers you a credit to use some other time, it would only be right for you to give her that credit.  If she refuses to pay then you should keep the credit.

Post # 4
Member
2066 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t understand why you were paying for her and her Boyfriend or Best Friend in the first place.

Explain that the tickets are non refundable and while you understand she had to cancel, you’d appreciate being paid back for the money you are out.  Is the hotel room non refundable too? 

Post # 5
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

(p.s. I voted for “give it a week” because that’s the closest to my opinion, but I really think you shouldn’t wait at all.  Ask her for the money now. Go to court if you don’t get it eventually.)

Post # 6
Member
1565 posts
Bumble bee

I think as most posters on the prior thread advised, you need to contact her and ask for the money ASAP. Don’t wait for her to offer – I don’t think it’s happening 🙂 

Use whatever you usually do to communicate with her – phone, email, etc. I think writing her to lay out your request clearly and sans emotions, and then following up with a phone call would be most effective. Don’t get into the details of whose fault it is etc – just say something like “I am sorry you won’t be able to attend. Since you are not coming and using the airline tickets for yourselves, would you please send me a check for the airfare?”

Post # 7
Member
1565 posts
Bumble bee

PS You should put an option in the poll for “contact her now”

Post # 8
Member
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would wait a few days to let this cool down, and then email her and tell her that she needs to pay you back. Usually airlines will let you change a flight, but not the name of the passenger, so you won’t be able to use them for yourself – therefore she needs to pay you back and change them into something she can use.

Post # 10
Member
577 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

there’s no option for asking her point-blank for your money ASAP.  No jokes, no kidding around. 

Post # 13
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Can you see if the airline will let you change the ticket to another name?  And then maybe change it into a voucher for future travel for you?  Or can she take her son but leave him with a friend for the weekend while she attends the wedding?  With the ex approval of course.

I don’t think you can get your money back unless she wants to.  Morally sure, but legally she doesn’t have to.  There was no agreement that this was a loan or that it would be repaid.  I’m certain that’s what small claims would say.  Either way you were out the money, it just sucks it’s not being used in the way it was intended.  I would work with the airline and see what options they have for you.  And write her off of course.  You should still ask for the money from her and maybe you’ll at least get half.

Post # 14
Member
769 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Ugh.  This sucks, and I think you should just talk to her.  I don’t think you have an actual claim for small claims court though.  As Talishazwi said, morally she needs to pay you back.  Legally, I think it’ll be treated as a gift.  Call the airline and see if anyone at all can be done.  I’ve been able to change nonrefundable tickets into credits.

Post # 15
Member
950 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Wait, isn’t this person your FI’s friend? I thought I read that in your original thread…if so, I think he’s being unfair to you to just give up on something that important to you & force YOU to deal with HIS friend. I’d have a talk with him about how you’re feeling unsupported in this situation & you’d really like him to have your back – I mean, isn’t that part of what marriage is about?

That being said, I agree with PPs that you should contact her ASAP & let her know that you can afford/are willing to wait for her to pay you back.  Give her the condition that if paying you back takes longer than a month, you’d like an agreement between the two of you as to when to “due date” is.  This will give you more ammo in small claims court, should it come to that. You say that you “know their argument is going to be why should we repay the airfare when it was a gift.” If it were me, I’d come back with, this gift is different from other forms of gifts…this gift is one that is for SPECIFIC use, not something they can return if it duplicates or if they just decide they don’t want anymore.  Tickets & rooms for your Destination Wedding is specific to that use…if they’re not going to use the gift for its intended purpose, then they should return it to you or repay you.  This “gift” is more like scholarship money…the government awards people money for school, & doesn’t expect repayment if it’s used for schoool.  But if the student decides to take a year off or go to community college instead, the student doesn’t get to keep the scholarship money…it gets reverted back to the government or scholarship institution. 

Good luck…and please consider talking to your Fiance about how he’s treating you by leaving you in the lurch on this one.

The topic ‘Friend having to bail, and not offering to replay, update..long, sorry’ is closed to new replies.

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