Post # 1
So I have two friends (one of whom is pretty drama prone…stupid boy)who are romantically interested in each other. We will call them Jack and Jill. Well, a while back (years) I dated Jack, we just weren’t meant to be, but remained friends
. Met Jill more recently but still good friends, just haven’t known her as long. Now they are starting to feel out a dating relationship and both Jack and Jill are confiding in me about it. But the problem is, from things Jill is telling me that Jack says to her, I know he is flat out, bold faced lying (and his inability to be truthful about stupid little things is part of why we broke up).
He tends to be a people pleaser and tell someone what he thinks they want to hear, not what is really true. But I don’t know what to do! Do I tell Jill I know Jack is lying? Or do I stay out of it and risk a good friend getting burned because the lies. My inclination is to just say it is their problem but at the same time if it were me, I would hope my friends were close enough that they would say something to me. Help?
Post # 3
I would tell her the truth. I was involved in a very similar situation, except I was Jill. My “Jack” turned out to be two shakes away from being a pathelogical liar… and my friend KNEW this when she let me go out with him… off and on for 2 years. I’d always feel like he was lying about things, but I never had any solid proof… eventually it came to light though. I’m still friends with this girl, even though we’ve never been super close, but I was let down and upset that she didn’t warn me about him up front.
Post # 4
Thank you so much, I don’t want to come off as some psycho ex-gf, I am happily in a serious relationship with a better man, but I don’t want Jill to think I just want to start drama, both of them are a little immature. Glad to hear from “Jill” that you would want to know too.
Post # 5
I agree, tell her, I dated a guy that my friends knew was lying to me. My roommate ended up telling me the things she heard after I complained about three different things. I guess for her she wanted to make sure she wasn’t ruining true love or something. She really handled it well, didn’t make me feel stupid for falling for it nor did she attack him. She told me what she knew and encouraged me to find out the truth. I think it is easy for these types of situations to go bad, people get very defensive. We were very lucky, it wasn’t easy at the time and I thought she was being dramatic at first, but he really was psycho, in fact his nickname is psycho james, we are still good friends today- my roommate- not psycho james, almost 15 years later.
Post # 6
Normally I fall on the side of minding your own business, but I definitely think that in this situation you should tell her. If she’s telling you stuff that you KNOW he’s lying about, then it’s totally natural to say, “Wait a minute, what? I know that’s not true!” It would be unnatural for you NOT to say something, I think.