Post # 1
My friend whos wedding I was in at the end of July, is upset with me for a number of reasons and I want to get others opinions. Please let me know if you feel I was wrong.
Me and my friend were both engaged around the same time and were both Bridesmaids in eachothers wedding. Since my wedding was a little over a month after hers, I was really curious to see where my friend booked her venue, who she booked for vendors and what she had picked for Bridesmaid dresses. Well, apparently my friend has been mad at me for months about everything I’ve supposedly done and I’m just hearing about it all now. She’s mad because I tried booking at the same venue (rustic barn venue), I tried to have the same bridesmaids dresses as her wedding because I really liked the colour and style (My bridesmaids decided against it), and apparently her AND her bridesmaids are mad at me because at her rehearsal I asked the minister if she could do my wedding. I’m also a horrible person because I asked the makeup artist and hair stylist the day of my friends wedding if they were able to do my wedding. I got texts from my friend and her bridesmaids telling me that I was rude to do this and that I should of made these arrangements on my own time instead of at HER events. I didn’t see it as a big deal but apparently it was.
Was I wrong? Should I apologize or is she just overreacting..
Please be honest…
Post # 2
I feel like this is one of those rules that really depends on your social circle.
My friends wouldn’t care – but we also don’t care if we show up to the same event wearing the same dress.
But I think the default rule is not to do things like that. It’s not universal, part of what makes my girl group is that we collectively reject those types of norms, but it’s still a norm.
Post # 3
If I were her it would bother me a little bit but not enough to talk to anyone else about it and I definitely wouldn’t let on that it was bothering me. Unless you were very obviously discussing your wedding in front of everyone, then maybe because that would be poor taste. If you asked privately but at the event, I don’t see why it would be a big deal. The venue and dress thing would be the main thing that would be strange to me.
Post # 5
abouttodoit17 : I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who thought this!!
Post # 6
abouttodoit17 : How could this not be real? I’m confused..
Post # 7
I think doing one of those things might be okay, but looking into the same bridesmaid dresses, MAU, minister, venue, etc is too much. I’m not sure I’d be mad but I’d sure as hell be pretty annoyed. It reminds me of an annoying little sister who tried to copy everything you do. Acknowledging it and apologizes would be a nice thing to do.
Post # 8
emilyk1993 : so you copied her venue, her bridesmaid dresses, her minister, her hair and make up and you have no idea why she would be remotely miffed at you?
If you actually aren’t a troll then you must be lacking in social awareness. Planning basically your entire wedding like for like as your friends is really weird. It doesn’t even sound like you happened to love the same vendors, it sounds like you waited for her to book things and then you booked them purely because she did.
Post # 9
I don’t see the big deal but my friends and I aren’t petty 🤷🏼♀️ My best friend and bridesmaid just got engaged and booked by florist and DJ. I don’t care and encouraged it! I even told her to look into my hair/makeup artist especially if she is happy with what she does at my wedding this weekend!
Post # 10
it sounds like she planned an entire wedding and you were just copying her plan without asking her if she’d be okay with that. you didn’t ask just the minister, or just look at the bridesmaid dresses, or just any one or two elements…
you were being a bit creepy and weird… sorry, OP.
doing all of this AT all of her wedding events was also quite strange.
Post # 11
Post # 12
Most friends would RECOMMEND their vendors where I am. I mean how else do people get business if we cannot use the same person someone else did? I live in a faily large city and many people use the same vendors and venues as another person. I wouldn’t care. I would only care if people were entirely duplicating my wedding and dresses to the T. Then again… things like this make me find the big ceromony less desireable to have.
Post # 13
abouttodoit17 : I didn’t get the same venue and dresses, I tried to the venue was fully booked and my bridesmaids didn’t like the ones she had for her wedding. I did get the same minister, makeup artist and hair lady though. I didn’t think that it would be an issue but now I’m seeing that apparently it is…
Post # 14
You only need to read these boards to know many friendships have ended over one of these things, so while plenty of bees will say this wouldn’t bother them, it’s pretty universal to not want your wedding used as a booking event by a bridesmaid who’s copying your whole wedding.
While I often think those copied posts are overly dramatic over nothing and yeah I would happily share my vendors with anyone who asked, this one is pretty bad. You copied everything and did it on her time in front of her.
You really need to apologize.
Post # 15
Honestly if a friend of mine tried to copy every single thing about my wedding for sure it would annoy me. I think getting the same minister, hair, makeup is ok but I draw the line at having the exact same bridesmaid dresses. I mean, there are thousands of other dresses to pick from lol. I get that you didnt end up going with those dresses but I am sure the intention is what bothered your friend.