Friend is mad at me

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
1628 posts
Bumble bee

I feel like this is one of those rules that really depends on your social circle.

My friends wouldn’t care – but we also don’t care if we show up to the same event wearing the same dress. 

But I think the default rule is not to do things like that. It’s not universal, part of what makes my girl group is that we collectively reject those types of norms, but it’s still a norm.

Post # 3
Member
24 posts
Newbee

If I were her it would bother me a little bit but not enough to talk to anyone else about it and I definitely wouldn’t let on that it was bothering me. Unless you were very obviously discussing your wedding in front of everyone, then maybe because that would be poor taste. If you asked privately but at the event, I don’t see why it would be a big deal. The venue and dress thing would be the main thing that would be strange to me. 

Post # 4
Member
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

This can’t be real.

Post # 7
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee

I think doing one of those things might be okay, but looking into the same bridesmaid dresses, MAU, minister, venue, etc is too much. I’m not sure I’d be mad but I’d sure as hell be pretty annoyed. It reminds me of an annoying little sister who tried to copy everything you do. Acknowledging it and apologizes would be a nice thing to do.

Post # 8
Member
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

emilyk1993 :  so you copied her venue, her bridesmaid dresses, her minister, her hair and make up and you have no idea why she would be remotely miffed at you?

If you actually aren’t a troll then you must be lacking in social awareness. Planning basically your entire wedding like for like as your friends is really weird.  It doesn’t even sound like you happened to love the same vendors, it sounds like you waited for her to book things and then you booked them purely because she did.

Post # 9
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I don’t see the big deal but my friends and I aren’t petty 🤷🏼‍♀️  My best friend and bridesmaid just got engaged and booked by florist and DJ.  I don’t care and encouraged it!  I even told her to look into my hair/makeup artist especially if she is happy with what she does at my wedding this weekend!

Post # 10
Member
997 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

it sounds like she planned an entire wedding and you were just copying her plan without asking her if she’d be okay with that.  you didn’t ask just the minister, or just look at the bridesmaid dresses, or just any one or two elements… 

you were being a bit creepy and weird… sorry, OP.  

doing all of this AT all of her wedding events was also quite strange. 

 

Post # 12
Member
669 posts
Busy bee

Most friends would RECOMMEND their vendors where I am. I mean how else do people get business if we cannot use the same person someone else did? I live in a faily large city and many people use the same vendors and venues as another person. I wouldn’t care. I would only care if people were entirely duplicating my wedding and dresses to the T. Then again… things like this make me find the big ceromony less desireable to have.

 

Post # 14
Member
11612 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

You only need to read these boards to know many friendships have ended over one of these things, so while plenty of bees will say this wouldn’t bother them, it’s pretty universal to not want your wedding used as a booking event by a bridesmaid who’s copying your whole wedding.

While I often think those copied posts are overly dramatic over nothing and yeah I would happily share my vendors with anyone who asked, this one is pretty bad. You copied everything and did it on her time in front of her. 

You really need to apologize. 

Post # 15
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2019

Honestly if a friend of mine tried to copy every single thing about my wedding for sure it would annoy me. I think getting the same minister, hair, makeup is ok but I draw the line at having the exact same bridesmaid dresses. I mean, there are thousands of other dresses to pick from lol. I get that you didnt end up going with those dresses but I am sure the intention is what bothered your friend. 

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