(Closed) Friend is peeving me off!!

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee

My.married friend is the same way. all I can say from my experience is that some women totally change when they get married and think they can’t function without their other half. Sounds like you guys are drifting apart, if she can’t realize it is a girls night then she sounds to far gone. I would just tell her to keep her butt at homeand go to the club

Post # 4
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@alyssaC:  tell her he can come pending his immediate sex change? 

jk

it’s your birthday, you can have a girls night if you want! I probably would just let him come and when he notices he’s the only guy there, say “so glad to have you here – *friends name* wanted you here cuz obviously you’re one of the girls!”

okay sorry, i got nothing that doesn’t involve sarcasm or humiliation.

Post # 6
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Some couples are joined at the hip. I’d just reinforce that you love both of them but just want to have a girl’s night. If she can’t respect that then she doesn’t have to come. 

Post # 7
Member
4876 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Admittedly, FH and I are pretty much joined at the hip like that. I think it mostly comes from not living together. I try to plan everything I possibly can around his work schedule, but sometimes it just doesn’t work out. People have accused my FH of being controlling because of it, but it’s really my choice.

But, I do have to say, when something like a friend’s birthday party comes up, I go! 

Ultimately, your friend is just going to have to decide which is more important to her. She may pick spending time with her husband or she may pick your birthday party. Hopefully she picks the party! I don’t know that there’s really anything you can say to her. Just try to sound understanding when it comes up, even though you really think it’s dumb.

Post # 9
Member
4876 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

@alyssaC:  Oh gosh, I definitely see your point (not that I didn’t before). There’s a line and she obviously doesn’t know where it is. It might be best just to slowly start phasing her out of your life. I’ve had to cut off friendships multiple times before, and that seems to be the easiest, most drama-free method. 

Post # 12
Member
580 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Co-dependent much? Gross!

I feel you, OP. I love my Darling Husband and I have found myself wanting to spend more time with him now that I am a few days away from giving birth, but I also like my own time. I would never invite him to some sort of girls only thing….A) Because it’s rude, and B) Because he would be bored out of his mind! 

I wonder if her hubby is secretly controlling or something? I had a friend who’s (now ex) husband was REALLY weird about stuff like that. I would go over to their place to hang out with her and do girly things, and he would ALWAYS show up. I mean, it was his house, so it was fine for him to be there, but he would be all up in the middle of things. That was weird to me! It turned out that he was actually REALLY controlling. He had to know what she was doing/thinking/saying every minute. It was really sad and they eventually got a divorce. 

Post # 14
Member
580 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@alyssaC:  Could you ask your other friends if they’ve received the same treatment? I am not a fan of talking behind other’s backs, but I think you need to know out of concern for your friend. If it’s just you, then that really sucks, but if it is all of your friends, then it sounds like there is a real problem with this guy.

Especially her saying that he would be “hurt” if she leaves the house for a few hours…that is odd. Big red flag!

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