Post # 1
Member
6 posts
Newbee
Hey guys i have this dilemma. A girlfriend of mine that i have been friends with forever is starting to act a little bitchy about my weddng. Now, i am the easiest person to get along with. I don’t like confrontations, i don’t like to argue when unnecessary and i honestly think that i let things roll off my shoulders. Well, i’ve had quite about enough of one friend. I really don’t want to come off as conceited, please don’t think this, but my friend seems to always be jealous of me. I never notices until my mom was the one to point it out. I started growing my hair long, she starts to grow her hair long, i started to dress a little nicer, buy high heel shoes and she starts to buy high heel shoes ( now i know most us woman do THAT so i sort of dismissed that ) Apparently she has always wanted to get married but unfortunately she never has, even though she says she has been asked with no ring. I made sure to stay virtuous and really didnt sleep around too much but she slept with a lot of men and ended up having 2 kids. Never stayed with any of the baby daddies. I have been with my fance for over 6 years ( a year and a half break in between ) we recently got back together and he proposed. I was so happy but when i called to tell her i was engaged she didnt answer and not only that when we did see each other again she didn;t even ask to see my ring. ( all my other gf were dying to see it and giddy and congratulating me ) then when i asked her to go bridesmaid dress shopping ( i asked her to be a bridesmaid ) she started snickering about the dresses i was looking at were so expensive but i was looking at dresses under $100 and my wedding isn’t until next year April 2014!! I overheard her complaing in the dressing room with my other friend and she didn;t know i heard her and she said “not all of us have money to buy this shit.” i wanted to cry as i sat there outside the room waiting and i could hear my other gf saying ssshhh! What should i do? I don’t even know whether she should be in the wedding considering her seeming that she wasn’t nterested and that she has no money to buy the dress. Why did she have to be so mean and talk crap while i was outside the room? I know that people say she has been jealous of me and she used to take my clothes when we were roommates and copy my style but is she not a good friend to have around? Any help please guys. 🙁
Post # 3
Member
4962 posts
Honey bee
@sweetp813: life is too short to hang out with shitty people. Flush her.
Post # 4
Member
8588 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
don’t they say: Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
that being said, she shouldn’t have said those things in the dressing room.
you should have a serious talk and tell her that if this is too much for her, then it is ok if she needs to step down.
Post # 5
Member
8369 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I don’t necessrily think she is jealous. Her comment about the dresses are fair since she is a single mum and money is probably tight for her. $100 may not be much to some but to others it is a burden.
Not everyone is excited about other peoples engagements. I never ask to see peoples rings because I really don’t care about rings (but I will congratulate them).
Why not try talking to her about her and her life and mentioning that you feel like you two aren;t as close anymore. The issue could be not related to you and your wedding.
Post # 6
Member
2625 posts
Sugar bee
I would do her a favor and ask her to not be in the wedding. For such an important day in your life, the worrying and hurtfulness is truly not worth it. She clearly is not into it and sounds like she’s not very happy with herself. People who are geniunely happy with themselves and love their friends and celebrate/be happy with them.
Post # 7
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
@sweetp813: if she is bring you down and can;t afford to be in the party i say let her go form it … its your wedding you wanan enjoy ti all it soudns like she will bring u down some
i know what you mean about that … i was my besties moh and when i told her i was enaged seriously the girls at the starbucks i see everyday responded more thrilled gitty then she was she had no intrest at all it really hurt my feelings … some ppl need the good to be about then or they dont care … you just need to be carful who you choose there are friend you love hwo might just not be wedding party type friends if they cant be happy abut you and let u have a moment then they shouldnt be part of it
Post # 8
Member
234 posts
Helper bee
I must be the only person in their 20’s who still buys nearly matching outfits with my best friend…., but I wouldn’t worry about the heels thing. Good for her for trying to look her best. As for the jealousy thing, just let it roll off your shoulders. Don’t invite her to be in the wedding since she doesn’t seem interested, but don’t let it harsh your vibe. Not everyone will be happy for you, and that doesn’t make them a bad person. Sometimes it is really hard to see someone live the life you want for yourself. However, if she is a bad friend in other ways I would just break off the friendship. It’s not worth the stress and tears. Surround yourself with people who love and support you.
Post # 9
Member
12 posts
Newbee
let’s be real honest here: she is an insecure, miserable, nasty, jealous bitch. If I heard someone saying that kind of shit within earshot about the dresses I picked out, they’d be walking away no longer in my wedding AND with a limp. What an a-hole. I’m so sorry that this is happening to you, but I think the best thing to do to save yourself stress and angst is to kick her jealous ass to the curb. Try to do it a nice way though – tell her that you heard what she said about the price of the dress and that there are going to be a lot more expenses coming up as time goes on and that you understand if she doesn’t want to be in your wedding (you could also do the same in a message). tell her you never meant to be a pain and are sorry if you caused her any stress (even if you aren’t – you’ll look like the bigger person) and that there aren’t any hard feelings if she dips out.
Post # 10
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
@sweetp813:
I made sure to stay virtuous and really didnt sleep around too much but she slept with a lot of men and ended up having 2 kids
i agree with you on it was rude that she was complaining on the very reasonable price of bm dresses, however is there something else going on here? Maybe she feels judged by you in some regards. You appear to be judging her here
Post # 11
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
@sweetp813: I don’t think I read one nice thing you wrote about this friend. Why are you friends? Why did you ask her to be a bridesmaid? Just because you’ve known her for a long time? It sounds like you need to let her know you overheard her, ask her why she wasn’t excited/congratulating you on your engagement, and hash out some pent up stuff that’s come between you over the years. Or, you could just say you’re sensing she might rather not be in the bridal party and let her take herself out of it, and let the friendship fade. Jealousy can be an ugly thing, but it is usually covering up another feeling. Good luck.
