(Closed) Friend just got engaged

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I understand the kind of feelings you are having, because I have them towards a friend myself.

My friend getting married next weekend has always been…”marriage crazy.” Basically just as long as someone showed interest in marrying her, she would go with it: doesn’t matter if the person is right for her. Doesn’t matter to her that she has flaws she needs to work on, like being very controlling.

Well, in December her boyfriend proposed after 10 months of dating. She decided to had to have a short engagement (we’re 22) and now she’s getting married in August. About a month ago, her fiancee’ broke up with her for a week because she was extremely controlling and he couldn’t take it anymore. They got back together because he felt guilty about the money that had spent on the wedding already, but of course everyone has serious doubts that they should go through with the wedding, including me.

However, she refuses to talk to any of her friends about what happened, and her feelings about it. She pretends like it didn’t happen, and is more worried about just “getting married for the sake of getting married” than actually having a happy, lasting marriage.

The best thing we can do is let our friends make their own decisions. If your friend comes to you seeking advice and expressing doubt, then I would make your fears known. But it’s their own lives, and even though their decisions might drive us mad, it’s their own beds to lay in and their own marriages. If one day it all comes crashing down because they didn’t take marriage seriously, then we can be there to lend a shoulder.

Until then, well…just be there until she needs you.

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