Post # 32
Some people are not comfortable breastfeeding in front of others. There is nothing wrong with it, it is just personal preference.
I pump for my son, as I was never comfortable with breastfeeding. The only person I pump in front of is my husband, and even then I shy away. I’m so uncomfortable in front of others with these types of things. No one I know has taken any offense to me leaving the room to pump (which I was doing numerous times a day), and while I was in the hospital I asked others to leave the room to allow me to do it.
The only people that ever saw me breastfeed (besides DH) were nurses and a lactation consultant. My son was a NICU baby, so I got to feed him for the first time in the NICU. It didn’t bother me at all when I was there, probably due to the fact that he was there for almost 2 weeks before I got to really attempt it. I was just excited.
Don’t be bothered by your friend. She needs to do what makes her comfortable. So many people choose to not breastfeed by choice. The fact she is making the sacrifice to do it means giving her as much support as possible. I hear all the time “your still pumping?” and “why don’t you just breastfeed?”. No one (besides Darling Husband, Mother-In-Law, daycare, my bestfriend and my donor moms) are all that supportive of what I do. Be there for her and maybe when she goes to nurse you can do something for her, like clean up a little.
Post # 33
I have 3 kids and I never nursed in front of others besides my husband. I just never felt comfortable and I never wanted to make anyone feel uncomfortable. I think you are reading into it too much if you think this is any sort of reflection of your friendship. It’s not at all.
Post # 34
@Brittanyg20: It’s funny- but I had a friend who did the same- only it actually irritated me. She was a new mom. She came over to my house to sift through baby stuff and took boxes of things home. I was happy to give it to her–
but her baby (maybe 2-3 weeks old at the time)- was hungry. He was crying because it was definitley time to eat. Of course she can Boyfriend or Best Friend at my house- anywhere she wants- but she was weird + didn’t want to.
Worst part- she was newly married (I still haven’t met her husband to this day, and I don’t think I want to)- and her husband called and asked her to pick up beer on the way home!!! At noon!! And so she was going to take her starving baby and stop at the liquor store to get beer, and then go home to feed her baby. I couldn’t believe it.
It’s a strange topic- there are people who don’t like people to breastfeed in public or in sight. But then there are BFing moms who act all weird about it- like it IS something to be embarrassed about. And I do find that strange. I get some people have those funny things they are uncomfortable with, but if I was BFing and didn’t feel OK with doing it (covered) with my girlfriends, I’d buy a pump- and make sure I pumped so there would be milk ready for when we did have guests over- not just leave my guests. Or I guess the alternative would be to not have anyone over!
Post # 35
@Brittanyg20: I am not uncomfortable by it, and I am open to public breast feeding.
However, I can see how some people aren’t comfortable. I don’t know that I would breast feed my baby uncovered in front of my friend, and I just may possibly go to a quiet place because if there are issues, you don’t want to be fumbling around in front of your friend.
I would expect my friend to understand and not think I was deserting her because honestly, and you may think this is mean, but my baby eating is way more important than my friend, and if I have to excuse myself for a little bit to feed my baby then so be it.
Post # 36
i’m kinda on your side, OP. i just generally think it’s rude to leave a guest alone in your house for 30 minutes… baby or no baby. if you need to escape to your bedroom (which is totally any mom’s perogative) then maybe don’t have guests over?
Post # 37
@mamadingdong: haha this made me laugh out loud!
I am fine with people who want to breastfeed in front of me but I know I will feel more comfortable going into the other room once my son comes. I dont think it should make you uncomfortable.
Post # 38
@mu_t: Sometimes your baby doesn’t stick to their schedule and will get hungry when a guest is over. Like someone else said my baby eating is more important than your comfort in my home. Sorry! If you are a guest in my home we are probably friends so make yourself comfortable and I’m going to go feed my baby however I want and whenever she needs and you’ll have to just deal. If you can’t well you can come over when my baby is no longer breastfeeding. 🙂
Post # 39
I, in no way, think her baby being fed is more important. I don’t have a problem sitting there alone. It’s the fact that I feel as if I shouldn’t be there because I don’t want her to have to run to her room to feed her baby in her own home. I feel like I’m intruding in her home. And I would volunteer to clean but her house is spotless and the only thing I know she needs done is laundry and that’s in her room.
@MrsEME: I would definetly say something if someone was starving their baby. That is completely stupid. If she is that uncomfortable she should be pumping or not leaving her house. I think it’s kind of sad to see a mom be embarrassed for BFing… I know our society has done that to people. She does have a pump but from what she was telling me she only uses that milk for when she’s not at home so her Bf can feed the baby till she’s home. (that came up in a completely different conversation, that had nothing to do with her feeding in front of anyone).
@mu_t: I just feel like I’m imposing. I’ve never been in a situation where a mom doesn’t feed in front of anyone so it’s just weird. I feel like I shouldn’t be at her house or something.
@iheartnerds: She told me she just isn’t comfortable feeding in front of anyone.
@ieatunicorns: I don’t see it as a reflection of our friendship. That’s ridiculous. I’ve just never seen breastfeeding as something that needs to be hidden. And I’ve never met anyone other than her that hides it. I’m just curious to know reasons other than being embarrassed or private to run away to feed.
@mamadingdong: well whether you’d like to admit it or not, breast are over sexualized. And mostly in an American culture as well. This would easily be the number 1 reason women are made to feel embarrassed or inadequate. Breastfeeding is something to be proud of, it’s not easy, and it’s not something anyone should feel as if they have to hide. However this is completely irrelevant if what she actually wants is intimate bonding time with baby, and for whatever reason feels that company is distracting from that or it needs to be private. I don’t have a problem with sitting there by myself, it’s the fact that I don’t feel as if she should have to hide away in her own home. I have only been to visit twice since baby was born. First was when baby was 2 weeks and the second was when baby was 4 weeks. I wasn’t at her house for more than 3 hours. I would love to do some housework for her but her house is pretty much spotless when I come over. Both her Bf and her are off from work so they have no issues keeping their house up.
Post # 40
@Brittanyg20: I do not mind women breastfeeding whenever/whereever, but I DEFINITELY do not plan to ever do so in front of ANYONE except my husband. It is just not my thing, so I think you should just let your friend be and not let it bother you.