(Closed) "Friend" making my BF feel weak

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2254 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

First, welcome to the Bee! Secondly, have your Boyfriend or Best Friend block this guys number. If you guys don’t normally respond to him anyway, the creep wouldn’t know it was blocked. Out of sight, out of mind.

Post # 4
Member
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@NinjaWings:  Can you get onto your telephone service provider and block the number? That way he may still be trying to contact you but you just don’t even have to see it! He sounds awful!!!! Block his number, block from social media, etc. He will go away eventually and find new people to torment.

As for your Boyfriend or Best Friend, a good sit down talk about this guy & how unimportant and messed up his values are should calm your soon to be Fiance. Just tell him straight up & since you both dislike him it shouldn’t be an issue. Just re-assure him that money doens’t mean a thing. You’ll be ok 🙂 Good luck getting rid of that fruit!

Post # 5
Member
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

I used to look at rings with my fiance and point out ones I liked that were within price range and point out things i didnt like about big ones which although they were bigger, just looked obnoixous. 

Same with proposals I used to point out well thought out free proposals that didnt cost a lot of money and show him how much better they are than stupidly big ones. Like on the film “meet the parents” when the guy gets the kids from the girls school where shes a teacher to all hold up letters saying will you marry me. Thats is sooo much more precious than a billion roses, dancing elephants or whatever other stupid thing money can buy. 

I took time to really empasise that its the thought that counts. I made my fiance explain why he chose my ring which made me fall in love with it even more

Post # 7
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@NinjaWings: Ugh, this sucks. Honestly, this is not your problem to solve, it’s your boyfriend’s. You’re not doing your bf any favors by trying to solve this problem for him. Can you support him in taking a stand? Absolutely. I just hate it when “nice guy” is used to justify cowardly or passive behavior. There’s nothing nice about stringing someone along. Not to attack your bf unnecessarily, but until he decides that he is willing to take a stand, as you mention, this behavior will continue.

I know you don’t want to spend money on this d-bag, but I think $5 is worth the time and energy you guys would spend wasting on this guy. Otherwise, your bf will have to summon some courage and confront the guy to tell him in no uncertain terms that their friendship is over.

Post # 8
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2013

It might sound a tad extreme to go out of your way to block a number, but I agree with the other bees. If one part of your life is spoiling other parts, throw it away. It’s not worth it, you will not gain anything from any sort of relationship with this person, there’s a classy way to do it, and I honestly think blocking is that.

Any type of confrontation with this person, as you’ve already stated, will go south in every aspect. There’s nothing you can do, this person has a lot of growing up, as well as a lot of insecurities to get through! 🙂 

Post # 9
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Seriously if your boyfriend is a grown rational adult then someone who you guys think is a blowhart shouldn’t even be in his head or radar when focusing on your engagement. He has to own his own choices and decisions, I don’t buy when people blame their behaivor on others.

I think if your bf is nervious, that it is naturally nervous as are a lot of people are when they get engaged, no reason to blame it on this guy or drag him into the equation.

Secondly I think he as an adult should be able to tell someone to f off or block the guys number or stop responding to him. If you guys say this guys not a friend and you don’t like him, whey does he have your numbers and why are friend on fb?

 

Post # 11
Member
6210 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

If he stops responding, hopefully this guy will go away. Otherwise, I would probably have him respond with something like “Why do you think this would interest me? We aren’t friends”

Post # 12
Member
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

Hopefully just having your Boyfriend or Best Friend ignore his texts will give this guy a hint, if not next time he texts just say “Who is this?” then when the guy replies have your Boyfriend or Best Friend pretend he’s someone else and the guy has the wrong number, he’ll think your Boyfriend or Best Friend changed his number and stop texting him.

Post # 13
Member
9552 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Dude. Just ignore the guy. Seriously. Don’t read texts. Don’t listen to messages. Absolutely never ever respond. And he’ll go away. As far as making your guy feel better I would just work in a few “Man, I’m so glad you’re not ridiculous like him – I’m so lucky to have found such an awesome guy!”

Post # 14
Member
7652 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I don’t know why ATT&T wouldn’t allow you to block a number. I can block a number on my phone without having to get the phone company involved.

Anyway, that aside, I think $5 would be worth blocking this guy if he is clouding your BF’s mind AND can’t take the hint when your Boyfriend or Best Friend ignores him. The next time he texts I would just say dude, you need to stop texting me. Or if you want a more passive approach you could just continue to ignore him or say this is a wrong number.

Post # 16
Member
3053 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I agree with the PP that said to text him back and say “who is this? you have the wrong number so please stop blowing up my phone!” if you don’t want to be confrontational. But you can be confrontational without being rude, it’s simple to just text and say “please stop texting me, we are not friends anymore.”

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