Friend marrying a man she’s dated for 2 weeks…how would you react?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: How would you react to a friend marrying a man she's dated 2 weeks?
    I would respect her decision, support her, and not say what I'm really thinking. : (61 votes)
    26 %
    I would convey my concerns because she is a good friend and needs to hear it. : (163 votes)
    70 %
    I don't think there's anything wrong it, so I'd be happy for her : (10 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3520 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I’d be worried for her, quite frankly.  See what you can find out and refrain from saying anything–she won’t tell you anything otherwise.  Take her out to dinner and just let her talk.

    Post # 4
    Member
    9029 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    If she already got upset at your tone then you cant expect a good reaction from her if you try to tell her how you feel. If it was my friend I would definitely express concern but at the same time I think she knows she is rushing and doesnt want to hear it.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2702 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    That is a really short amount of time. I don’t do well with confrontations so if it were me, I would probably let her go and have her make her own decisions. If it doesn’t work out, she will realize it down the road. I know it’s not the best advice, but I am trying to put myself in your shoes.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3000 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    What’s their reason for getting engaged so soon? When is the wedding? If the wedding is in a year, for example, I would hold off on saying something. If they have been dating for two weeks, got engaged, and are planning a wedding for 2 months from now, this girl needs someone to sit her down and tell her she is rushing in to things. Just my opinion.

    Post # 7
    Member
    7385 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Ok, so are they getting married like super soon?  Or is it that after 2 weeks they have decided to get married like a year from now?  If they are having a regular engagement- like a year or so- then I might not say anything since it might work itself out anyway.  However, if they are going to the court house next week- then I would say something.

    For whatever its worth, my husband and both knew we would be getting married after dating 1 month, but we did not get “officially engaged” for 2 years.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1723 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @Evie19:  I would have to say something, or at least ask some questions.  Sometimes people fall in love quickly and that’s fine.  But that’s also super romantic, and doesn’t happen often.  She probably doesn’t know who this person really is.  He could be abusive, want her money, or many other negative things.  People can be on their best behavior at the beginning of a relationship and a few months down the road, he may become someone entirely different and then she will have to deal with that.

    Post # 10
    Member
    9824 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I met my husband in June and we were married by October Smile

    Post # 11
    Member
    2263 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I think I would go out and grab some dinner together and then over some wine just really discuss her plans for the future and get the real scoop on this guy. You don’t have to tell her you think its a bad idea but just hear all the details first, so that way you can understand her thought process in why she wants to rush things.

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    1577 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I agree with another bee who said, take her out and let her talk. Be supportive: tell her that you want to hear all about her new man. Let her tell you all about him, and why she feels that he’s the one. No matter what happens, if this works or doesn’t, she’s going to need a friend to support and stand by her; not feel isolated so it’s her and the new man against the world.

    Because if things start to fall apart and she’s isolated herself from all her friends and family, she’s going to have a much harder time getting out of a bad situation than if she has someone she believes she can confide in “on her side”.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1212 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    This is the sort of thing that ends friendships. I would keep it quiet and try to be happy for her. Then, if it all goes wrong, you can be there to help her pick up the pieces. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    984 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    I’m with @Mrs. Fireworks: talk to her about her wedding plans and see when they are planning the wedding. If it’s not for a year or so, I would bite my tongue. I know it’s hard, but nothing good can come of saying something if she’s that determined. Now if it’s in a couple months then maybe say something. 

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