I really wish this site had an option for updating old post–but it doesn’t–so here’s my update:
I told Jo today that she can’t move in.
Yesterday I sent her a few links to some super ideal situations for her–room/board in exchange for companionship to a senior woman and a place for severely reduced rent in exchange for helping out around the house and with the baby for a woman with chronic illness.
She shot these down quickly with a handful of reasons why, mainly being that she doesn’t know if she’d *like* to be a companion and that she can’t cook so the woman obvisously wouldn’t want to hire her as a live-in maid/nanny when, honestly, the ad made it sound like cooking wasn’t a biggie.
She told me she can’t fake nice and be polite. She only likes a small group of people. I just don’t know how she’ll ever get a job this way. She doesn’t seem to grasp that most people don’t *like* what they do. I know I consider “like” to be a strong word in regardes to my toleration of my second job.
Then she went on to say she doesn’t want to live with someone she doesn’t know and went on to finally explain her multiple diagnoses which keep her from doing so. Currently, she’s waiting to hear back from SSI. She was denied previsously, so I don’t think she’ll get it and even if she does I’m not sure when she’d qualify for housing (it’s done as a lottery in my state).
The way she bulked to my suggestions solidfied the idea in my head that she wouldn’t ever be willing to move out. Also, having known her from way back in high school I feel that she is–just a little, maybe–using her disorders as an excuse.
I get that certain things are way harder for her, but I don’t think they are impossible. Jo is very capable when given the tools and when she wants to be–It’s just getting her to that point.
I told her that she can stay a few times a week, I’d help her look for a job, figure out busing, a bus pass and that I’d spot her up to a 100$ a month if she needs help with rent or whatever.
Her dramatic self told me to just get her a tent. >.<
Sent her an application for a woman’s shelter that looks promising. Which I’m having to walk her through.
I feel really bad rn and guilty and selfish and all that jazz. Jo isn’t mad at me, which is good. I’m just mad at myself. Feels a little better to write it all out.
Wanted to think everyone for their advice.