- Miss Mochaccino
- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
This is really just a vent, although any comments or suggestions are welcome.
My wedding is coming up in June . . . and back in January a church friend (who is about 10 or 15 years older than I am) offered to host a May bridal shower for me but did not set an official date for it. I thanked her several times and told her how excited I was about the shower and how kind I thought she was to want to host it. She spoke of it to me several times in January and told other mutual friends about how excited she was to host a shower for me (those friends in turn mentioned it to me).
We haven’t seen each other much over the past few months because she has been very busy traveling with her family and entertaining guests. I have made efforts to touch base with her just to say hello and have chatted occasionally with her at church. When early April rolled around, I thought that perhaps I should find out what date she was planning to host the shower. I emailed her (since I hadn’t seen her at church for a few weeks) and told her I would love to speak with her about setting a date for the May shower and asked if there was anything I could do to help.
She wrote back saying that she was out of the country entertaining guests and that she’d get back to me to plan things when she returned. When she did return, she found me at church and took me aside, and said that she thought it would be nice to have a couples shower for my fiance and me instead of a bridal shower. I said that sounded like a very nice idea. She then said that she would only reallly feel comfortable inviting 2 couples over (in addition to my Fiance and myself). A small, intimate shower was different than what I imagined, but I’m not the one hosting it, so I thanked her and said that sounded very nice and gave her the names of the couples via emal. Then, in her email, she stopped referring to it as a shower and started calling it a “tea”. So, instead of a bridal shower, or a couples shower, we’re now just having tea with a few couples.
I feel that I can’t say anything because, again, I’m not the host, but it is a disappointment. She is the only one who offered to throw me a shower, so I was really looking forward to it. And she just eased her way out of it by making it into tea at her house with a few couples. She’s a really nice lady, and it’s nice of her to want to do something. I am looking forward to tea with the couples . . . but it’s not the shower she promised.
In the end, ofcourse I aam going to be grateful and positive that she wanted to host a gathering in honor of my FI’s and my marriage . . .. however small, and whether there are gifts or not, it’s the thought that counts. But, at the same time, I feel misled. She very clearly said, “I want to host a bridal shower for you” — and we all know what bridal shower means. But instead, she’s hosting a tea.