(Closed) Friend RSVP’d no – VENT!

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

That is unfortunate. I also had a few friends do this to me (one was actually going to Hawaii too, go figure!) and I gracefully accepted their regret and haven’t spoken to them since. I don’t think it’s necessary to try to call them out, obviously she doesn’t think she’s done anything wrong since she was willing to call you to explain.

Post # 4
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

it has taken me such a long time to realize this- because i, like you, do not like giving up on friendships and really try and go above and beyond in terms of staying in touch with people, but sometimes it is healthier to let the more one-sided friendships go.  and let me tell you, it can be liberating and a good release for a lot of stress.  you don’t deserve to be treated that way- you gave the friendship your all, but when push comes to shove, this isn’t a person who you can count on or who considers the friendship as precious as you do.  i say let her go and make peace with your decision.  you’d be imagine how much self-resepect and confidence you will gain from doing so.

Post # 5
2057 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree with  @moderndaisy: – – it will not make you feel better talking with her.  She has hurt your feelings this isn’t the first time nor will it be the last. I am sorry she doesn’t see that she is hurting you. While yes if you told her she might see the light something tells me she won’t change and in the long run if you talk with her and see no change then I’m affraid you’ll get hurt more. 

Be proud that you have been a good friend to her. Its ok to feel hurt and angry and mad and sad…As your day gets closer your feelings will simmer and this will pass…

Heads up girl, this is such an exciting time for you Laughing

Post # 6
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

playing devil’s advocate…

…she has a ONE MONTH OLD BABY?????  she definitely get’s a “get out of jail free” card in my book, no matter of past history.  She has a newborn baby, and was GIVEN a trip to hawaii.  Unless shes in the wedding party, I would probably make all the same decisions she did!

it’s a really wicked hard life with a newborn, and i’m sure she said “YES” prior to her giving birth.   it sounds like you have some problems with her regardless of her RSVP.  But if it’s just the RSVP that’s got you down, cut her some slack.



Post # 7
1941 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

@futuremrscrawford: I agree with you. A one month old baby does justify not making 2 trips especially when it involves over night stays, in such a short time. Especially if she is breastfeeding.

However, I don’t understand why she would say she was going all along and then all of a sudden has this trip. Most don’t plan a trip like that on a whim unless in the case it was planned, someone else was to go and things fell through, so they were invited. Who knows! I am sorry this has happened, but I’ve seen this happen before and honestly, it is best just to let it go. Enjoy your day to the fullest and afterwards, if she wants to be your friend, let her make the effort. Stop putting yourself out there in turn to only get hurt. If she cares about your friendship, she will make the effort, but if not, then you just learned a valuable lesson on who your friends really are. Been there, done that! Not fun! Good luck!

Post # 8
48 posts
  • Wedding: September 2011

If this person considers herself a friend she’d of been there.  She’s nothing more, and I would re-evaluate putting time into a relationship when something like this happens.

Post # 9
3620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010


Post # 10
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I am so sorry this happen to you!  I tell people in moments like this you find out who your true friends are and it’s true.  At least she is not in your bridal party.. It seems like she may just be jealous of you. I hate friendships when u give and get nothing in return.  you will be fine focus on the good things going on with you!

Post # 11
1882 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Maybe she just doesn’t want to leave her baby at home and is giving you a stupid excuse?

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