(Closed) Friend says I was abused, now won’t be a BM (long)

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 33
Member
792 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

If it is a possibilty then maybe you should talk to FH about it, and see how he feels about it and thinks if it is true or not, and then maybe talk to her about it if you don’t think she will blow up about it. I don’t know about you or anyone else but I don’t think I could have someone who is jealous of me because she wants me Fi would be standing up for me at my wedding because then she is not genuinly happy for you.

Post # 34
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It might explain why she would take his phone call and act like nothings wrong…

Post # 35
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Ms.Charleston, That’s what I was thinking but I didn’t want to say it. Think about it, shes a good friend who loves your fiance but then is telling you NOT to marry him over something that seems completely accidental? Then she gets mad because you didn’t break up sooner? Plus she spoke to your fiance like there was nothing wrong. I would think she’s waaaay jealous and just upset that if the two of you get married she won’t have any chance with him. That be said there could still be a different issue, but you sure stumbled into a messy situation!!

Post # 36
Member
792 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I also agree with pinkpinstripes. I really have no clue what else it could be, because if she is that concerned about it, I don’t think she would be his friend or any of that.

Post # 37
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

View original reply
@VegasBaby: and
View original reply
@SoonToBeMrs.Kiss:  This was my gut instinct as well– that she may have feelings for him and is using this incident as a way to back out of the wedding. I didn’t want to say it because abuse is such a serious topic and I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt.

@Ms.Charleston Pearls:  It does sound like there might be something there. I’m sorry you are going through this as it sounds difficult all around.

Post # 38
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I was thinking the whole time reading all the comments that she must have a thing for your FH. I bet thats what it is! That would make total sence why shes mad at you for something you didnt do and still talks to him!

Post # 40
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

So sorry you have to deal with this with a good friend/BM (or so you think/thought)-

My SO is the most non-violent person ever, but one night (st.patrick’s day) he got too drunk and I was driving home… while he was telling me how ‘not drunk’ he was and demonstrating what being ‘actually drunk’ would be like (flailing his arms around in my Jetta), he hit me in the face and knocked my glasses off, which caused a scrape across my nose. 

I still make fun of him to this day about how ‘not drunk’ he was.  No one would ever claim he was abusice becuase of that.  I’m with the last few posters, something else must be wrong that she’s using this as an excuse for to get out of the wedding party.

Post # 41
Member
435 posts
Helper bee

I thought she must be interested in him also, but didn’t want to bring it up.  It’s the only thing that makes sense to me.  Sorry you are in this situation. Maybe it’s for the best she’s not in the wedding.  I can understand her not being able to do this if she in fact does have feelings for him.  And, I’m sure you’d prefer her not to be too.

Post # 42
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Well… at least you’re dealing with this now while you still have plenty of time. Can you imagine if this drama happened like a month before your wedding?

Obviously I’m a girl but I can’t understand why other girls create this kind of drama! We’re all too complicated for our own good 🙂

The topic ‘Friend says I was abused, now won’t be a BM (long)’ is closed to new replies.

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