(Closed) Friend says she has fantasized about having sex with her brother.. Thoughts?

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
  • poll: Have you ever fantasized about having sex with your sibling? Honesty please. It's anonymous.
    HELL TO THE NO! : (381 votes)
    91 %
    Yes, but I wouldn't ever have sex with them. : (17 votes)
    4 %
    Yes, and I would have sex with them. : (3 votes)
    1 %
    Yes, and we have had sex. : (16 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 91
    Member
    310 posts
    Helper bee

    SarahCF:  I LITERALLY AM IN LOVE WITH YOU RIGHT NOW!  I was a Josh Lyman girl myself.

    Post # 92
    Member
    7977 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    Payless:  Answer: most cultures agree with some agree of social arbitration…. lawyers are a last resort…

    As for sister wives, most sister wives I have met are not related to their husband by blood at all, but are linked only by marriage. Therefore, the incest taboo does not apply. I only know of a few examples where an orphaned girl married and took her younger siblings to live with her new husband. In each instance, the siblings were referred to by the husband as either “his children”, or “my wife’s siblings”. It was not the same at all. Most sister wives I have met have been close in age, and have either left to marry as a pair, or left closely after wach other. Either way, I have seen no evidence that the sisters are sexually interested in each other… there are other factors which make sibling marriage attractive to them.

    Post # 93
    Member
    3669 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Rachel631:  I was not combining sister wives and incest. 

    I was asking is it more acceptable for more than two people to be in a marriage than for a brother and sister to marry. 

    Is it more acceptable for couples who are born 18+ years apart to be married than it is for a sister to marry her brother. 

    Is it more accpetable for a women to marry someone of the same sex than it is for sibling to marry. 

    I feel everyone deserves equal rights whether or not I agree with their lifestyle. 

    Post # 94
    Member
    7977 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    Payless:  OK, thank you for making that clearer.

    I don’t agree with you, as it happens, but it is a theoretically interesting position…

    Post # 96
    Member
    3669 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Rachel631:  and that is okay! This is a super gross (IMO) situation but I just try not to rell other how to live their lives. So long as siblings are two consenting adults who are not in a abusive relationship…I support it. 

    I really wish some of those people who chose the last three options would go anon and share their story! It’s probably too much to ask since everyone would be judgemental but I think it would be good insight! 

    Post # 97
    Member
    3221 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    Payless:  most of the time I totally agree with moral relativism… But there are some lines that should not be crossed for a reason. In the 80’s there were pedophile groups (like NAMBLA, the North American man boy love association) who managed to attach themselves onto gay rights organizations to try and ride that PC wave. That resulted in some messed up policies at orphanages in London that I know of that lead directly to some children being abused.  Gay rights really only took off when gays managed to shake that association with pedophilia. Incest between immediate family members is another one of those things alongside acting on pedophilic urges I simply cannot see being okay in our culture ever.

    I think sexual orientation is not a choice. My best friend is a Kinsey 6 and never could get his head wrapped around liking girls even though he tried. He never grew up with influences from the gay culture, and was quite sure he liked boys befor the internet was a thing.  I also am sure that people with sexual orientations that are not socially acceptable are not choosing that. For instance, pedophiles prob ably do not choose to be attracted to young children. They in fact have to work very hard to not act on their attractions, and I feel a lot of compassion for people with demons like that who have to always deny themselves of that which they desire. If there was a way to nurture that out of them, there would be far fewer tragedies.

     

    Post # 98
    Member
    7977 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    Payless:  I think a huge problem is that, when I have heard about incest stories, they have generally involved abuse. I’m sure this is an issue for a lot of people. It may be that people feel freer to discuss tales which involve abuse as opposed to those which do not… but I am unsure. Looking over my notes, the marital success stories I have involve either cousins who were raised separately, or more remote relatives who have married later in life.

    I can say honestly that most of the notes I have re what we would consider incest would be considered abuse (the exceptions are the GSA stuff). It could be a coincidence, but I think that incest is a deeply powerful social taboo… and for good reasons, in a biological sense, if nothing else.

    Post # 99
    Member
    3221 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    Rachel631:  the guy who first discovered a genetic link between birth defects and cousins being married was Charles Darwin… Who was married to his first cousin and began to suspect something was wrong when several of their children died young. Very tragic. In their case, their families were keen to keep the family fortune in the family (their grandfather in common was one of the Wedgewoods, of the ceramics company still around today).  It isn’t uncommon even today with certain social classes for cousins of some sort or another to marry in some countries – my dad’s family has a bunch of cousins several-times-removed who are married a little farther back in the family tree and my great great grandmother was married to her first cousin.

    anyway, I have heard plenty of stories of cousins being married, but I have never heard a single story of siblings being in a “romantic” relationship that was not based on abuse. There is a reason why there is a national support network for survivors of incest (rainn!)

    Post # 100
    Member
    1384 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Just no. I have a very handsome brother, but the thought of him as a partner is repulsive. Even the thought of cousins and distant cousins is gross to me. No offense to anyone. I know people whose parents are first cousins and I don’t judge, but for me, no way.

    Post # 101
    Member
    3669 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    babeba:  Pedophilia is one that I cannot support along with many others. I also feel bad for those who are carrying such heavy burdens. I would not support an abusive relationship between any two people and incest falls under that. I just hope that if a related couple found happiness in each other (without influence from past misfortune) that they would not be discriminated. 

    Rachel631: Sibling couples who are happy probably have a hard time coming out since it’s  something they themselves most likely struggle to explain/justify. I assume incest victims who were molested speak up more since they are searching for help/support for emotional/physical trauma. 

    ***I tried researching more about siblings who have married and the search has proven to be limited. I found a few stories but only one couple was raised together. It’s obviously not a common practice and I hope it remains that way….

    Post # 102
    Member
    437 posts
    Helper bee

    My first thought was that this was WRONG and disgusting! However, after reflecting, I realized that is more my opinion than a fact. I couldn’t really think of any other reasons why two adult consenting relatives having sexual relations was wrong other than it being totally disgusting.  If pedophelia, abuse, drugs or something of that nature is involved, than I would feel more confident in using wrong/disgusting in a more definitive nature. However, while I would NEVER even THINK about doing this, I think that it’s more of a social and cultural influence that causes us to immediately shun it.

    I also did a research paper in college that focused on the bodies natural reaction in certain scenarios, and we are actually “designed” to not be attracted to someone that we share the same DNA with. Our perceptions of our relatives are usually much different than they are with strangers or non-relatives (whether it’s scent, physical appearance, etc.). I’m guessing some folks are missing this gene, the sexual attraction overrides it or that their are more complicated mental/emotional issues at play. 

    Either way, I would hope to God that an incestual couple would NEVER attempt to reproduce for medical reasons. And, I can’t even begin to imagine what sort of longterm emotional/mental issues it could cause between both parties (and the rest of the family!). So, yeah… Gross to me and most other people, but I don’t doubt that it’s more common than we realize. 

    Post # 103
    Member
    1031 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2015

    alpinebride:  Growing up, my brother and I hated each other.  I wanted him dead n it was mutual….truly sibling rivalry. Unfortunately,  he went home to glory when he was only 23yrs old, but we did eventually become very close and adored each other as siblings ONLY! I think I would have knocked his head sideways if he ever looked like he saw me in a romantic way.

    Post # 104
    Member
    101 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Rachel631:  being an adoptee,  I’ve read many books about adoptions and relationships with the biological fanily.  It isn’t common, but more likely for adoptees to have a sexual relationship with a biological sibling or even parent then for children who grew up with their natural famIly.  There is definitely a strong desire for intimacy that I understand.  Not growing up with my siblings but knowing them since childhood, I was always especially close to my brother.  I also was raised by a single mother.  I readily admit that my brother was the first man I loved and trusted (like many girls’ father) and I did have a desire for that closeness somehow.  I don’t think it’s any different then the mother/son father daughter/love That happens in biological families. But never wanted to have sex with him.  I can see how it happens though as an adoptee, even though it’s not what i would want.

    Post # 105
    Member
    437 posts
    Helper bee

    I also wonder with all the sperm-donors out there fathering tens of dozens of children, how many stories we will begin hearing of half-siblings unknowingly finding themselves in an incestual relationship. 

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