Post # 1
A friend of mine scheduled her wedding on the same day and at the same time as mine knowing full well that she was doing so. She claims that there won’t be a lot of overlap of guests, but I don’t care. There is some overlap and I don’t want to feel like I’m in competition. I am no bridezilla, but don’t my fiance and I at least get the one day to celebrate? I’m trying not to make a fuss, and I’m not really sure what I can do about it, but I’m extremely irritated. What to do?
Post # 3
Is she a very close friend? I’m guessing since she claims you don’t have much overlap, you guys must not be super close? I can’t imagine one of my best friends being interested in picking the same wedding day as ours unless there was a really good reason, like a military deployment or something. What a bummer.
Anway, honestly, I don’t think there is anything you can do about it. She picked her day, she doesn’t seem to think it’s a big deal, so you probably don’t have any real options here other than to take the high road and forget about it.
Post # 4
That really stinks! Did you set the date first? If you did-that’s just low. I would talk to her & just tell her how you’re feeling & that you don’t want to be a bridezilla, but this is your day-you picked it first. Tell her you expected to be at each other’s weddings, and now you’re not able to. I don’t know other than that. Some friend.
Post # 5
I’m sorry to hear you’re at odds about this. Sounds like a real life Bride Wars!
That being said . . . My parents and a good friend of my mom’s (and another couple they knew) all had their weddings on the same day. They had some guests that overlapped, but the weddings were staggered. Of course, this was in the early 60s. I was born just days before my mom’s friend’s daughter (I was the daughter’s MOH). Even though mom’s friend’s marriage fell apart after 30+ years, mom & her friend are still close. So, it all depends on what you make of it.
For me, the best part was that I could always call the daughter to help me remember when the anniversary date was!
Post # 6
well that really sucks. Especially her knowing that you had already picked that date. I agree with pmerr though. i think you should talk to her about it and let her know how your feeling
Post # 7
Is your friend invited to your wedding? If so, is she saying that she has no interest in attending your wedding? What made her pick the same date – any good reasons? If not, some friend you got there… Not only it’s rude to you, but she’s being rude to the overlap guests – now they have to decide on which of your weddings to pick. That’s just plain rude to make people to do that. If there is no good reason she picked the same date, try talking to her to see if she could change it, and point out as nicely as you can the implications. So sorry. Hope it works out ok for you.
Post # 8
that is not cool – is there a reason she has to have that day? seems pretty inconsiderate to me! and you would think if she was a good friend, she would want to actually GO to your wedding!
Post # 9
send out your invites FIRST!
Post # 10
I agree – not cool. that really sucks for you and the few guests that do have to decide which one to go to.
Post # 11
Tell her how you feel. It wasn’t right for her to schedule her wedding on the same day as yours, but its done now. To salvage your friendship, you need to talk about it.
Post # 12
That’s really annoying! Is it worth it to try to talk to her? If not, then just let it go. You can’t control people and now she has bad karma on her wedding day..
Post # 13
That is so RUDE! What is it about women and wedding that they feel they can do stuff like that? She was clearly trying to be competitive, what a shame. I’m sure the other guests that would go to yours and hers will choose yours. Since you planned it first. A couple that is friends with my future hubby tried this too, then they chose the weekend after which was still a problem. In the end they couldn’t do either date and are looking at 2011. Some people are just not nice!
Post # 14
It sounds like she had no intention of going to your wedding and doesn’t seem to be particularly bothered if you’re at hers, which stinks. There’s not much you can do but explain that (if you feel like it) you had thought that you’d both be attending each others wedding and take the moral high road.
Post # 15
I agree with Melissabegins- send out your save the dates and inivtations first!
Post # 16
- Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School
Whoa, if that happened to me, I would be PISSED! You’re not being a bridezilla, it is your day and it was totally overstepping her bounds to schedule her wedding on the same day, KNOWING you had already set yours for that day…I would tell her you’re upset, try to find out why she picked that day and then send out your invites early…So sorry tho, that SUCKS!