Post # 1
- Wedding: May 2012 - Salvage One, Chicago
I was out to dinner with my FH and a friend of ours- a slightly older friend from out of town. FH and I were on one side of the table and our friend, “dave”, on the other. Dave wanted to see what the bridesmaid dresses looked like, so I got out my phone, which has my pinterest account on it, and I gave it to him to scroll through. As he’s looking alll of the sudden he yells, “is this your dress!?” and whips the phone around to show me and FH. I of course put my hand up to block it and told him to put it down, but FH had already seen it. We were both immediately dissapointed. And FH even blamed ME for having it on my phone! I told FH that any NORMAL person wouldn’t do what Dave had just done. Dave just sat there.
Anyway, Dave really didn’t even say he was sorry at all. I don’t know if it registered to him that this was a major faux pas. It really killed the rest of our evening, I didn’t want to be around Dave at all, and I was so bummed that FH saw my dress. I am so mad at Dave, but I really didn’t express it at the time, but I feel like he just ruined a MAJOR part of our wedding. And I really want to make sure he knows how big of a deal this is to me, but it seems awkward to bring it up like, “hey last night at dinner, you ruined my wedding, just want to make sure you know that. K, thanks, bye!”
In trying to play it down, the picture I had on my phone is super white-on-white with the model showing the back of the dress, so I don’t think he could make out too much detail, and it was on an iphone screen. Anyway, I am alomst in denial this happened, but it’s tarnished a part of the wedding- I know FH has a pretty good idea of what I’m wearing. 🙁 Ugh!
Post # 3
Your wedding isn’t until May, so by that time I seriously doubt your Fiance will remember a dress he saw on a cell phone screen for a split second. I understand your disappointment, but to tell someone that they “ruined your wedding” or to even think that your wedding will be ruined by something so trivial is a bit dramatic.
What your friend did is certaintly inconsiderate, but it was most likely innocent. To make him feel bad about an unintentional act that he can not take back seems cruel and unneccesary.
Take a deep breath and relax. It will all be ok. Your wedding will be beautiful and the last thing on either of your minds that day will be the fact that he caught a glimpse of a model in your dress 8 months earlier!
Post # 4
The PP is right. Your Fiance is NOT going to remember what the dress looks like. My Fiance saw a photo of my dress before I bought it and he has no clue what it looks like now.
Post # 5
Well, I certainly think your friend is an IDIOT!! Who doesn’t know that you are not meant to do that. I don’t blame you for being angry – I’d have been furious myself.
HOWEVER…I do agree with the other Bees that by the time your day comes around, your Fiance will have totally forgotten the fleeting glimpse he’d seen on a tiny screen. You know what men are like – wouldn’t recognise their own trousers on the line.
Remember also – that you will have your hair done and all your accessories, and I’m sure you will look beautiful. He’ll be blown away, and probably it won’t even occur to him to think that he’s seen the dress before.
Perhaps you could even tell a little white lie that you’d exchanged it, just to throw him off the scent?
Post # 5
Was it a picture of you in the dress or the model?
Your friend obviously has no idea of manners when it comes to this subject. It may just be me, but I also think it’s odd that a man asked to see the bridesmaid dresses?
Post # 6
He’s a guy. I bet all he saw was a long white dress. Don’t worry…it’ll be a totally different experience for him to see it in person.
Post # 7
- Wedding: May 2012 - Salvage One, Chicago
Thanks girls, I knew you all would give me some perspective. 🙂 It’s true, a picture of a dress on a model is light years away from what I will look like in real life, all done up, etc.
@RR it was a gay friend, somewhat into fashion 😉
Post # 8
Seriously, don’t stress. I understand you being upset, but I would bet big money that your FH won’t remember what your dress looks like by the time you get married. He’s probably already forgotten! 🙂
Post # 9
if it was not a pic of you IN the dress I would not worry about it. Your friend is an ass though.
Post # 10
- Wedding: June 2015 - Thorpewood
I’m not gonna lie, I’m the type of person who would tell a friend that they pissed me off and shouldn’t have done that kind of thing. I mean, you should tell them so they don’t do anything stupid like that again. Sure, they probably didn’t really think about it but hey! You don’t want any other future brides to be disappointed like this by the same guy.
Post # 11
My Darling Husband actually helped pick my dress out and saw it in our closet when I brought it home. He didn’t see me WEARING it until I walked threw the doors at our wedding but he knew what it looked like. I agree with the others though. I doubt he will remember what he saw by the time you get married.
Post # 12
That is so frustrating and I am sorry you had this happen to you.
Though I don’t know your FH I am pretty sure by the time your wedding rolls around he will most likely have forgotten what it looks like. Especially because it was a small picture on your phone and I am assuming he only saw it for like 2 seconds.
It probably seems like a lame thing to say right now considering I’d be really unhappy as well, but try not to stress too much about it! Guys forget things easily! 🙂
Post # 13
He’s a guy. Gay or not, he probably didn’t realize, especially in the moment, that it is generally customary for the groom not to see the dress before the wedding. Like other bees have said, the real deal is going to be much different than a split-second glimpse on a cell phone. I personally wouldn’t bring it up, but if you do, don’t be rude or mean about it. Just mention, “Hey, for future reference, (insert groom’s name here) doesn’t know any details about my dress, so keep anything you see/hear from now on to yourself.”
Post # 14
@JBing: There are seriously so many dresses that look completely different on the models than real brides… he won’t remember every detail, he’s a guy! : )