Post # 1
I have been casually dating a guy, who I will call M.
M and I have been seeing each other for about 2 months. M was in a serious relationship up until January when his girlfriend moved to LA to become an actress. He was supposed to go with her, but has an amazing job here, so he stayed and they broke up.
He found out yesterday through a friend that his ex has purchased a ticket home for next month, and has already lined up her old job (which is where M works).
He sent me a text message yesterday along these lines “.. So how I thought today was going to be was wrong! Such a busy day and a sh*t one at that! How was your day?”
I said my day was pretty good, and asked if he was ok and what happened?
He replied “…. My mate just emailed me and said my ex has got a plane ticket home for the 12th of next month and has already reapplied for her job at my work. Her resume has been cleared.. just pisses me off! Sorry to say this to you! (then he said what he was doing that night)”
.. My friend says this is him telling me that he is probably getting back with the ex, and that I should stop talking to him? I think its just him telling me whats going on?
Am I totally dense, or is my friend off base?
Post # 3
Just in my opinion, I think your friend is wrong. The way he worded that seems pretty upfront to me. With guys there is rarely any “reading between the lines”.
Post # 4
IMO, I think he is just trying to keep you informed, so you don’t find out from someone else. He is probably upset because he doesn’t want her to come between the two of you. I would just play things by ear to see how things go, if I were you. Sure, it is probably going to be uncomfortable for both of you for a while, but he is obviously not with her and with you for a reason.
Post # 5
errrr maybe I don’t know Australian lingo but I can’t find a hint of anything regarding wanting to leave you for her….
Post # 6
Hmm..I could see this working 2 different ways:
1) your friend is right and he is just saying that now so he doesn’t get in trouble later for lying by omission.
2) he really is pissed.
Either way, it’s probably him she’s coming back for so decide if you want to be in all that drama..
Post # 7
Your friend isn’t in your relationship, so why should you listen to her ? If you’re concerned about your boyfriends ex coming back, talk to him about it. He might be pissed that she’s waltzing back into a life she so easily left behind, worried that she’ll upset the new relationship he has with you or just as confused about what’ll be happening as you are. The most dense thing you could do is stop talking to him because someone that he broke up with is coming back to town.
Post # 8
@ladyluckystars: I don’t see where your friend got that. It sounds like he is telling you before you find out and feel some type of way about it.
He didn’t text you “Oh, my ex is coming back and I’m going to work it out with her now. see ya!”
Post # 9
I think he’s torn. He’s for sure still hung up on her… but that’s not to say he doesn’t fancy you still. My advice tread carefully but proceed.
Post # 10
Thanks.. I didnt think it sounded like he was trying to end things either, and if he was it was very subtle!
We aren’t exclusively dating, which is why I think my friend thinks I should just cut it off now but I really do like M and to be honest i’m not sure if I can see us together long term but I truely do enjoy his company and talking to him.
I think I might just wait for him to contact me first though just in case!
Post # 11
I don’t see him going back to the ex from that exchange. I think he was being courteous and keeping you informed. You may want to keep your eyes open in case something does come up regardng the ex (though I don’t think you need to) but I certainly WOULD NOT stop talking to him because of the those text messages. That would be ridiculous!
Post # 12
It sounds to me like there are a few possible reasons for him to be pissed about his ex coming back – 1) he wants to get back with her and he’s upset because her leaving in the first place made things complicated now, 2) he’s legitimately upset at her and doesn’t want to get back with her – the fact that she is returning after ending their relationship upsets him, or 3) he’s upset that her returning might come between you two.
Hoenstly, the latter two seem more likely to me and I don’t see where your friend is coming from. However, I do think it would be good for you and M to sit down and talk about what his ex returning means to him and what he wants and everything.
Post # 13
I’d keep an eye out, but I can’t help wondering if your friend was ever left for an ex and that’s why she’s so quick to jump to that conclusion.
Post # 14
I don’t understand the beating around the bush, if you are in any way curious to know what her coming back means just ask him straight out. Men are usually pretty direct about these types of things and would rather you ask then ignore it or wait it out.
Post # 15
OP: I just read the threads you started earlier – is this the same guy you were talking about in those? I’m wondering why he would have said those things about being worried about you being recently seperated if he was recently seperated as well. I’m starting to think that the reason he was hesistant earlier (and blamed it on your situation) is because he was still hung up on his own ex.
Post # 16
@melodicsighs1 Different guy!
Well he just messaged me then saying good morning so I guess I will just take it slow and see what happens..