(Closed) “Friend” Wearing the same wedding dress…

posted 7 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Well they say imitation is the greatest form of flattery. If she wears this dress, you can too-maybe you can add a little something to make it different, like one shoulder strap or an extra embellishment to make it stand out.

Post # 4
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I don’t think she is a very good friend for “borrowing” your colors and your dress. I think you should tell her how you feel and let the chips fall where they may. If you aren’t having a lot of the same guests, then it might not make much of a difference, but if it were me, I would still be very upset, if someone did that to me.

Post # 5
Member
3788 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Having to change your colors should have taught you to be careful about sharing the details of your wedding. I would be kind of upset, but on the other hand, if your wedding isn’t until Aug 2012, I would STRONGLY advise against buying a dress this early anyway. You have 2 cycles worth of new season dresses that will be available till then, and who knows how your tastes, body, and budget may change until then. Also, it doesn’t appear that you’ve finalized your venue yet, and I can’t tell you how many dresses I saw for sale online because they no longer fit the venue. I would be irritated that she is doing this because, yeah, wearing the same dress is way worse than, say, wearing the same shoes, but in the grand scheme of things, I would just keep my mouth shut to her about my plans from here out and keep dress shopping. If your wedding were this August and you’d already bought the dress and things were set, I might have different advice, but really, you have so much time, I think I would probably mention in passing that you changed your dress because of her, but I wouldn’t have a confrontation over it.

Post # 6
Member
14496 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree that you can change the dress slighly and it will not look like the same dress, and I also agree that I don’t believe that she is a very good friend.  I don’t think she would like it if you “borrowed” her centerpieces, or her invitations.  Not nice.

Post # 7
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

My mouth literally dropped when I read this.  She doesn’t sound like much of a friend.  Tell her that ideas and concepts might be ok to borrow, but wearing the exact same dress as you?  Out of the question.  I’m sorry she is doing this to you.  Just explain your feelings on the matter and if she gets mad, oh well!

Post # 8
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

she sounds like a worry – who would want to wear the exact same dress as someone you know unless it was to either annoy that person or because you have some nutcase obsession with her.  maybe shes lacking in confidence about herself/her looks/choices? 

if she starts cutting her hair and dressing like you its time to run

 

Post # 9
Member
1851 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

You should ask her if you can borrow the dress when she’s done with it…totally kidding. That really sucks…she doesn’t sound like a real friend or else she’d be taking your feelings into consideration. Are there going to be a lot of the same people at both weddings? I really think that you should maybe wait a little while before buying your dress (if your wedding date is in 2012) and let her have the dress…then don’t share anymore ideas with her AT ALL. If she asks what you’re doing for something (flowers, cake, songs), just say that you don’t know. She’ll figure it out sooner or later that you just don’t want to tell her and hopefully stop asking for info.

Post # 10
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

This reminds me of that ‘Bride Wars’ movie!

Post # 11
Member
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

omg! who does that??!! i would NOT accept this, not for one second. the dress was my BIGGEST obsession and one of things that is THE most important to me in the wedding (aside from marrying the love of my life of course, i mean important above decor and flowers for example).  I don’t think i would even keep my mouth shut about this. i would talk to your friend and politey tell her that you would appreciate if she found a different dress….ESPECIALLY because her wedding is before yours!!!  i don’t know you or your friend, but this story made my blood boil at the thought of a “friend” doing this to me!

Post # 12
Member
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

I would start sending her bogus links from now on. See if she continues to steal.

Post # 13
Member
7694 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

It’s disturbing that she wants to have the same thing as you for her wedding.  I wouldn’t share any more info with her!!!  Here’s a story though-I come from a large family-41 first cousins.  2 of my cousins got married the same year, and wore the same dress.  I think the only ones who realized it were the two moms and the two brides.  I never knew!  My aunt mentioned it to me last year-otherwise I still wouldn’t have realized it.  If you look on posts of brides wearing the same dress here, you will see that they often look very different in the same one.  Everyone’s size, shape, height, hair color, eye color, etc, etc, makes the  dress look different on each of the brides. If you love the dress and make your decision now I am sure that you would wear your hair differently and have different jewelry and I bet no one would be the wiser.

Post # 15
Member
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@ShandaK: i am still serious that you need to tell her she should not be wearing your dress!  so she saw your drawing, found a dress that looked like it, called to tell YOU about it….but then decided to buy it for herself??? i don’t understand who would do that and why! i wanted to be different and get a gown that didnt look like any of my friends had seen.

Post # 16
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@eloping: Haha. Yeah I’d be running too.

I’m guessing this isn’t the first time she’s done this to you? I’m sure there are other things that she’s modeled you after. Yikes.

I’d just stop sharing your ideas with her. Before you know it her wedding is going to be what you wanted YOURS to be… and it’ll all be thanks to YOUR planning.

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