(Closed) Friend With Eating Dissorder – trying to deal with my anger at her

posted 6 years ago in Wellness
Post # 4
Member
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

She’s just unbelievably unhealthy.  The behavior sounds to me a lot like a drug addict who hasn’t hit rock bottom yet, and doesn’t want help.  That would be draining on any good friend. I don’t think you’re horrible at all for being fed up and not wanting to deal with it any more.  

Post # 5
Member
2459 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

@b00kbug:  I have a friend just like this! There is nothing you can do until she is ready to help herself, which unfortunately may never happen! Just be nice to her when she is around and dont go out of your way to see her, unless you can handle dealing with her excess baggage…..or lack there of.

Post # 6
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I am sorry to hear this. It is so difficult to see a close friend go through this. You are definitely not a horrible person for feeling this way. Just keep in mind that this is an illness that can consume a person and it sounds as though your friend is indeed consumed by her eating disorder. Until she gets the help she needs, it doesn’t sound like she will be changing any time soon. The best thing you can do is to be there for her and give her the support she needs but at the same time keep enough space for yourself so you don’t become too overwhelmed. Try not to let her difficulties interefere with your wedding planning. Easier said than done, but we are here for you when you need to vent! 

Post # 7
Member
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@strawbabies:  you’re totally right on… anorexia has a lot of the same kind of psychological markers that addiction does.

And no, you’re not a horrible person for being frustrated with her. There’s only so far with someone with this kind of illness who categorically refuses to help themselves.

Post # 8
Member
45 posts
Newbee

Erk, that’s a tough situation. I think you should honestly yet gently as possible voice your concerns about her disorder and how you think it’s going to affect your wedding and the other bridesmaids. If she respects your thoughts and feelings as a friend, I’m sure you guys can come to an agreement civilly.

=D

Best of wishes!

Post # 10
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

This advice is assuming she’ll never want help or want to change:

The next time she brings up her weight, I would say something like “you know I don’t support your disorder/lifestyle/whatever, so please don’t bring it up in conversation,” and then change the topic whenever she tries to talk about it. If she knows you won’t listen to her talk about it, she’ll probably drop it.

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