(Closed) Friend/BM Break-up … Heartbroken :( [Long!]

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What should I do about Jenny?

    If she tries to contact you, respond and make amends.

    If she tries to contact you, ignore and move on.

    You should contact her and try to make amends.

    It's a loss, just let it go.

    Other (respond below)

  • Post # 4
    8684 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I am very sorry and I know it hurts but I would leave her and it (the friendship) alone. As we get older people grow apart and not many friendships last. This is one of them.

    Post # 5
    1360 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    Just let her be, a bridge is built from both shores ya know?

    Post # 6
    272 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @idolina:  This girl obviously does not want to be friends with you anymore. You were only friends for a year and have been living apart from each other for a year so its not like it was a lifelong relationship. It may have seemed like a close friendship in college but it looks like she has reassessed since graduation.  Just let it go.

    Post # 7
    4801 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Unfortunately, it sounds like Jenny is just one of those people who doesn’t know how to make a long-distance friendship work. When I first started reading your post I was going to tell you to cut her some slack, that she probably couldn’t afford the trip out and was feeling a bit embarassed about it, and then got defensive when you said you were hurt since it was probably something kinda out of her control. But the fact that she went so many months not responding to any of your messages, or saying she’d get back to you later and then not following up, speaks volumes about how much she’s willing to do for your friendship now that it’s not as convenient, and the answer is not much. I know how it is to be on your end of that and it sucks, when I moved in with my DH I went from my hometown all my friends still live in to being about 40 minutes away, and it became quickly obvious who would still respond to my messages and find the time to hang out, and who would always be too busy and never be able to make the time now that hanging out with me required more than a quick text on her way out the door to ask if I wanted to meet up right then.


    There were a few points where you were, as you admit, kinda bitchy. But honestly, I think by the time you reached that point the friendship was pretty dead in the water anyways. Obviously texting/facebooking isn’t the best way, but she wouldn’t take your calls. And the bitchiness came after you sent a concerned message and she took forever to give you a response blowing you off. It’s painful, but I think you’re best off just letting it go – at this point you’ve both done and said things that are going to be difficult/borderline impossible to take back, and regardless of what she has going on in her life right now, the fact that it’s been so long and that she still has time to go out with your other friends and just not you pretty much means that she has shown you how much of an effort she’s willing to put into a long distance friendship – and it’s nowhere near enough to make it work.


    Post # 8
    87 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2014 - Customs House Resturant Geelong

    It’s always sad when a friendship comes to an end, but as previous comments have been made, wes sometimes just grow apart. Its not that either friend has done anything ‘wrong’just moved on with your lives.

    Your story sounds so much like an old ‘friend’ and I. We were really close, then she had a few relationships, things became all about her and her life. (I’m not saying that OP was like this)
    I started ignoring her calls/texts because i didnt want to hear her go on about her life, and how shes so much better than I blah blah blah. I ended up have to breakup with her in a similar matter. Not so nice words were said that i regret, but 5 months later, life is so much better without the hard work of her.

    I would let Jenny get on with her life. And you can continue planning your wedding with the rest of your BMs.

    Good luck with everything

    The topic ‘Friend/BM Break-up … Heartbroken :( [Long!]’ is closed to new replies.

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