(Closed) Friendor ? unreliable friend catering wedding starting to panic… help

posted 6 years ago in Food
Post # 4
Member
420 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Unfortunately, I don’t have any real suggestions.  I do think a backup plan is a good idea though.  I think the problem with having her sign a contract is that it still doesn’t guarantee you’ll have food on your wedding day, it just means you can take her to court and sue her after the fact. πŸ™  Hopefully some other bee’s will come along with more ideas.  I hope you can figure out something, you shouldn’t be stressing about feeding your guests on your wedding day.

P.S.  How big is your guest list?  Is sandwiches from a deli or pizza or some other carry out an acceptable last minute resort?  I know it’s not elegant, but at least nobody will go hungry.  I wish I had more helpful ideas.

Post # 6
Member
502 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would sit down with her, and have a candid discussion about your concerns. In addition, I would also have a strong back up plan. Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
420 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

It’s really up to you weather or not you think take away for that many people is acceptable or not.  It could get pretty pricey, but I know Subway and pizza places will do it.  I think other sandwich shops like Togo’s do too, but I’m not positive on that one.  I was a teacher for a number of years before I hurt my back, and we occasionally did things like this for the students on short notice.  Pizza places typically need at least 2 hours notice and Subway will depend on the specific store.  Some would be willing to do it on the same day, some would need a week’s notice.  I can’t think of any other take away off the top of my head that might work.  Like I said, it might be pricey, and it wouldn’t be fancy, but it might be ok as a last resort option.  

If you have not already paid this friend any money, and you can find room in your budget, and can find a caterer/other arrangement that’s available for your wedding day on this much short notice, I would be tempted to cancel with the friend and arrange something else completely.  Depending on what time of day your wedding is though, it might not be the end of the world to just have cake and drinks.  I assume your friend is not doing your wedding cake?  It might not be ideal, but as long as your wedding/reception isn’t at a time of day/evening when people will be hungry then it should be acceptable to just have cake and drinks if this friend flakes at the last minute.  Maybe you could prepare your own sandwich trays or some other finger foods that don’t require a lot of prep.  I’m thinking things you could prepare a day or two ahead of time so you don’t have to worry about it on your wedding day.

Sorry if some of my ideas sound strange, I’m just trying to brainstorm what might work with your wedding day so close.  Think about how much room you have in your budget and how much you’re willing to do on your own.  Maybe ask some family/friends for ideas too.  I assume they would be sympathetic to this situation and might be able to come up with better ideas than me.

Either way, I agree with PP.  You for sure need to sit this friend down and have a serious conversation about how you’re worried you’ll be left high and dry on your wedding day.  Give examples of her missing recent events.  I’m afraid even doing that won’t guarantee she’ll turn up though πŸ™  I think you should be prepared with some kind of back up plan.  I don’t know of any caterers who would be willing to reserve the day for a back up only though, which is why I was trying to think of DIY and take away options.  If hiring a different caterer or other food option is something you can do, then I think that’s your best bet.  I’m sorry you have to deal with this though.  I’ll try to keep thinking of other ideas and let you know if I come up with anything else.  

Keep reminding yourself though that even if there’s no food, it will still be a wonderful day and you’re still marrying the man of your dreams, surrounded by people you love.  That’s the most important part anyway πŸ™‚

ETA: I just thought of one more thing!  I don’t know if you’ll like this idea, but you could consider doing a pot luck.  I know it’s completely out of the norm to do something like this for a wedding, but I think if you don’t have any other options you could explain the situation to people and they would be happy to help where they could.  I know I would be happy to do a pot luck if one of my friends was in this situation.  Have you read the thread that was recently posted about the wedding planned in 24 hours?  It was beautiful and really reminded me of the important parts of a wedding. πŸ™‚

Post # 12
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@nativedesires:  have given her until tomorrow to confirm

You really don’t need to bother giving her any time at all.  If her response wasn’t immediate, confident, and enthusiastic, I can almost guarantee that this is going to end badly.  I would start looking for a new plan now. 

Post # 13
Member
2692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Get a new caterer.  Sorry but she is not reliable and I would trust her with your wedding…better safe than sorry (which you will be if you have as your only source of food for your wedding).

Look around and contract someone who is a prefessional and does this for a living (preferably). 

I decided not to go with a caterer that was much cheaper because of his unprofessional behaviour.  I can’t trust you, I won’t hire you.  He flaked on a meeting and just plain did not show up or call for the second one…that to me is a red flag.  If you can’t make it to a simple meeting with a potential client (who is paying you money to do a service, how I can I trust that you will make it to my wedding with food for 150 guests and all I need for that day?  At the end of the day, my sanity was worth more than saving a few hundred dollars.

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