Post # 1
So I have a situation that I am not to sure how to handle. I have a friend who I am inviting to the wedding and I have confirmed with her that she will be attending. Her SO is a DJ and I have asked him to DJ at the wedding. When he asked about our budget I offered him the rates for the area $400 … and his response back has been to include 100 for gas mileage to up the total to $500.
So my 1st concern was…why am I paying you to come to my wedding when you were coming anyway?
And if I say “no thank you” will it offend my friend?
I am really torn….
Post # 3
Well, he isn’t going to your wedding to enjoy himself now.. he is now going to work. So I can understand where he is coming from. That is honestly really cheap for a DJ, so you should feel lucky!
Post # 4
@ForeverBlessed: Thank you so much for your response..I never thought of it that way and it totally sheds a new light on the situation. very much apperciated!
Post # 5
Agreed, he’s not a guest if he’s working. Will he even have time to eat? Plus he will incur wear and tear on his equipment. You should never take advantage of a friend’s professional services without compensating them accordingly.
Post # 6
Don’t see the point in friendors unless you’re getting mates rates (aka, part gifted). Otherwise just have him as a guest. And employ a DJ for the same amount since that’s the going rate in the area.
That came across as really horrid but I hope you know what I mean.
Post # 8
@Tea Lover: He’d have a much better time as a guest. And as you said, he’s coming anyway. I say hire someone else.
Post # 9
If you’re not saving money by hiring a friendor, maybe you should let him enjoy the wedding with his SO and hire someone else for the same price or a lil less?
Post # 10
I was in a similar situation with my Fiance friend. I decided I’d rather have them their as a guest so they can actually enjoy the wedding instead of having them have to work the whole time. Plus if its not saving you a ton of money is it really worth the stress it could put on your relationships. As long as you let them know you want them there to enjoy the day with you I think they will understand.
Post # 11
So it sounds like you’d be paying more for the friend’s Boyfriend or Best Friend to DJ ($400 for a regular DJ versus his quote of $500??). If that’s the case, that’s just silly! Hire a professional, save the extra $100, and your friend can enjoy the evening with her Boyfriend or Best Friend by her side.
I agree with PPs that he’d be working, but also agree that if he’s doing this as a friend, it should be saving you money, not the other way around.
Post # 12
Wow, I am learning all sorts of cool new words and phrases on this board! “Friendor”…”mate rate”….I agree with ladyartichoke – unless you’re getting a “mate rate,” hire someone else. I do agree with the PP who said that he is using his equipment and should be comp’ed for wear and tear…but in my personal experience it gets tricky trying to handle business with people you have personal relationships with. Unless he makes the cost worth your while, I would hire someone else at the going rate and enjoy partying away the night with your friend!
Post # 13
If I were you I would hire someone from your area with great reviews for the $400 and if your friend or her SO ask, just say “Oh I won a contest at a bridal show and won a DJ package!” I know this is a lie but if you are thinking they might be offended, a little white lie wouldn’t hurt. I really doubt he’s going to go up to the DJ and ask him how much he’s being paid. If he does, he’s cray cray.
I put my foot in my mouth with an old friend from high school who is a photographer. His prices were higher then other photogs we had talked to and he basically told me flat out, he’s trying to get out of doing weddings, he’ll do like 3 or 4 a year max but he would do ours. Well why the heck would I want you to do my wedding for more money if you don’t love doing weddings anymore?! Haha. In the end I told him we had decided on someone else and that we had gotten a big discount through a referral. It was no biggie. Hopefully your friend will be cool and not offended.