- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
I’ve been having an emotional last couple of days. I just needed to share somewhere. I feel like an idiot. I’ll just start by saying that. It’s ok if you all agree.
Anyway, my husband and I have been married for almost 2 years and we are in love and happy and I see us together forever. No problems there. I started a new job where I’m a manager of a team of 5. I have a co-manager in the workplace who is one step above me. Long story short, I naturally became close friends with one of the 5 people I manage. We became facebook friends, texted all the time, talked about life and our families. She would invite me out to eat and we’d go shopping. I was starting to feel like best friends. Lets call her Amy. I loved spending time with her at work and after work and we could talk for hours about anything. One day she comes in crying because her electric had been shut off because she couldn’t pay the bill for months. (her husband had been laid off) I loaned her a few hundred dollars. I couldn’t imagine her being cold and unable to cook food. My husband hates lending people money, but he agreed anyway.
Alright… so I became very close with a co-worker and then loaned her money. Stupid moves. I know. This was in early November. Amy still hasn’t been able to pay us back, which annoys my husband. We are fortunate and have a very good income, so we don’t need the money for anything, but it’s more of the principle for him. I’ve been telling him to just wait and I trust her and she won’t forget and she’s a good person, etc etc etc.
One of the other 5 coworkers below me, the only man, started sexually harassing me anytime I was forced to work alone with him. I made two complaints to the manager 1 step above me, blocked him (lets call him Aaron) on facebook, and he was given two official stern warnings about professional behavior. Aaron could have won an oscar for the act he put on for Amy and my co-manager. He had them convinced that he was being a nice guy and I was simply misunderstanding the situation. Amy even told me that it was being blown out of proportion by my husband and I. I ended up having to secretly record Aaron on my iphone (legal in my state) while he was alone with me and let them listen. They apologized after that and he was removed from our location by corporate.
I thought the situation with Aaron was over. This weekend I find out that he is constantly texting, calling, and facebooking Amy trying to get back to our location. She had kept it from me. She complained about him and said she contacted corporate and was stressed out. I felt so bad that she was dealing with that. Aaron then calls our work location, forcing me on the phone with him. There’s no caller ID at work. I told him I do not want to work with him, he made me very uncomfortable, and I did not want to be on the phone with him… and hung up and immediately reported it to Amy, my manager, and corporate. My husband is worried for my safety. This man is obsessive.
The next day my husband looks Aaron’s facebook up and sees that he keeps everything public and he’s posting to Amy’s wall and she liked his posts from earlier that day. My husband now says she obviously just tells people what they want to hear and like to stir drama. Of course she’s like “no no I just like everything everyone posts (pretty much true) and shes here for me and loves me and etc.” I mention it to my other co-manager and she yells at Amy telling her that it’s inappropriate to be friends with anyone you work with on facebook and especially a stalker of your co-worker that you are complaining to corporate about.
In response she blocks him tells him to never contact her again. She also deletes me and tells me its for my own good. She said that my husband thinks she is something she isn’t and she did nothing wrong and it’s best for my home life if I’m not her facebook friend. Yeah my husband doesn’t like her right now, but none of that has to do with my facebook friendship status with her.
Facebook is important to me. It’s how I stay connected to people. My husband works in social media for a living. Her deleting me was about the biggest, most painful sucker punch she could have committed to me. I’ve been crying for two days and my performance at work Sunday suffered badly.
Maybe all this is a lesson to never become close to co-workers or care about them. Typing it out makes me feel better. I’ve never felt so alone. Amy was really my only friend that I talked to. My husband is here for me, of course… but I liked having a female friend too.