I also do not expect a card or gift. I just don’t care- if you come to my wedding, your presence is gift enough for us! Having all of our closest friends and family in one room is an amazing gift, the one that means the most to me. Besides, a lot of time and money goes into attending a wedding, especially if you don’t live nearby. You need an outfit, a place to stay, gas money, money for food, and that really adds up. My friends and I have never exchanged gifts of any kind, so why should the wedding be any different? We drive hours to see each other, buy each other expensive dinners/lunches, and I think that works out nicely. And I personally hate giving cards- they just don’t carry any weight/meaning to me, I feel like it’s such a cop-out to just give a card and say ok I’m done- I’d rather take someone out to lunch!
And on a random unrelated note (not directed at the poster!) I personally think it’s pretty tacky to think “well, I spent $120 on his/her plate of food, and they didn’t get me a gift/card?! THE NERVE!!!” It irritates me so much that I’m being held back from inviting people to my wedding that I’d love to extend an invitation to because they’re wonderful company, because people say “oh it will just look like you want a gift, because they probably won’t be able to make it” NO, I don’t want a freakin’ gift, I don’t want a thing, I just want to invite the people that I like! But all this gift etiquette crap has ruined the idea of a marriage celebration! It disgusts me to some degree.
Also, I think it’s a bit ridiculous to say that not giving recognition to a wedding in addition to attending (or even, not attending) is tantamount to treating the occasion as trivial. I don’t expect people to care about my wedding. Those that are really close to me, will care, but I certainly am not going to stamp my feet and say “whyyyy does no one care about MY WEDDNG??!” So you’re getting married, that’s wonderful, awesome, but in the greater scheme of things, that’s between you and your significant other- don’t just expect people to get excited/thrilled/all up in arms for you hah. Some people just treat it like any other thing- a birthday, a graduation, etc. It is just an occasion after all, and a lot of people just don’t view it as the hugely life changing event that some other people do.
This isn’t meant to offend anyone, everyone is different about this situation. I personally give gifts at weddings when I’ve been to them (but I’ve only been to 4). These people were very close to us, so we got them lovely gifts. We don’t see them often, so we couldn’t spend the time with them that we wanted to, so we chose to do something for them because we felt like it. None of these people registered. But the one wedding I went to where I knew the bride and groom where actively hoping for and looking out for gifts (3 registries for them total)- it really rubbed me the wrong way. It tarnished their wedding for me- it felt like it was less about spending time with those they care about and more about how well they could stock their new house.