Post # 1
Member
799 posts
Busy bee
Hi Bees,
Curious to know if any of you have experienced this or if it’s just me…..
After you got engaged, did you have any friends sort of distance themselves from you? I don’t mean like after having a disagreement or falling out……just sort of drift away, not be in contact that often, not have a lot of time to chat/meet up with you, etc?
I told my friends of our engagement back in August and since then two particular friends just seem to have fallen off the face of the earth. They were truly happy when they found out we were engaged, congratulated us, etc. I didn’t talk to them about any wedding plans at the time since Fiance and I hadn’t made any decisions of where we were going to have our destination wedding so I wasn’t being a bridezilla or anything. But then we went from texting/chatting once a week to maybe a quick text once a month. I seem to be the one initiating all the texts/chats and their responses are short and kind of non-commital ie. “we’ll chat soon”, “see you sometime”, etc. and then when I try to make plans, they’re too busy or timing is not good. Really at this point I’m just letting it go and am not going to hold it against them but was just curious to see if any one else experienced this.
Post # 3
Member
3726 posts
Sugar bee
@lanibug: Are you sure it’s not you who’s pulling back?
Post # 4
Member
524 posts
Busy bee
Are these two friends people with whom you were very close, or were they more casual friends? If they were good friends, you should be able to talk to them about how you feel. Don’t blame them for pulling back but definitely tell them you feel like you haven’t seen much of them lately and you really miss their friendship and want to know if everything is okay.
Post # 5
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
This happened to me too. The two friends in question were not super close friends, per se, as we had fallen out of touch for about 6 or 7 years when they moved across the country but after they moved back we were in the process of getting together/talking more again. Then I got engaged. Friend A’s response was, “Wow, that was fast!” (I’d been dating then-FI for almost 4 years.) The other friend started evading my suggestions to have girls’ nights. Neither of them came to my wedding. That’s really the only part that hurt my feelings, because one RSVP’d yes, never showed, and then texted me a few days afterwards to say she had been sick. Whatever. It is what it is. Your imagination probably isn’t working in overdrive; if you feel like your friends are ignoring you, they probably are. I figured maybe my friends just felt like we were at different points in our lives and we didn’t have much in common anymore, because they’re into going out and trips to Vegas while I’m more of a homebody these days. Maybe that’s the case with your friends. Maybe they’re jealous. Who knows. Just keep reaching out to them now and again; that way, you at least know you tried and they know you still value their friendship.
Post # 6
Member
3281 posts
Sugar bee
Yep, I had a friendship totally end after our engagement. There were a lot of reasons, but I think the engagement was definitely one of them. I think she and her boyfriend of 4 years may have broken up a few weeks ago–she really wanted to get engaged, but he was MUCH younger and was totally not ready for that yet. Her BFF and I both got angaged within a week or two, and I think it was hard for her to deal with. But our friendship was sort of rocky anyway.
