- 2 weeks ago
- Wedding: July 2019 - City, State
I’ll be honest, it sounds like your friends are a bunch of jealous assholes. I was recently in a wedding where one of the bridesmaids was constantly cutting off the bride to talk about her boyfriend and her extravagant future wedding (nowhere close to being engaged), and all it came down to was pure bitterness and jealousy. Don’t let them bother you, enjoy your time as a fiancée and don’t feel bad about talking about your big day!
They’re jealous. I’d stop hanging out with the ones who can’t be happy for you. Those aren’t friends.
Stick with your good friends who aren’t threatened by it. And don’t invite the jealous ones to your wedding if they’re going to act like that- you know all they’re going to say is “well I would have done it better” rather than “congratulations!” Screw that
The problem is they are bridesmaids it’s like 3 out of 9. I didn’t think they would react like this to the whole situation. I have to admit everything just suddenly fell into place for me and it’s almost too good to be true right now. When they talk about their weddings( nonexistent) I just feel like waving my hand and saying “hey I’m kind of getting married in a few months would love some support.”
I haven’t bothered anyone with anything wedding related except the dress. I’m not dragging them to venues, flowers, diy stuff or anything like that.
Its just kind of disheartening no one has extended the offer to ask if I need support or help with anything.
Oh, honey, I have been married five years (I got married really young at 21), and trust me, friendships change when you get married. But I definitely think they change for the better – you weed out who is really there for you and whose not and you see what stage of life you are in/on in comparison to others.
Be patient with them. Let them know marriage isn’t going to change who you are as a person, but your responsibilities will change. You’re taking on a new and exciting role! Sometimes, people will be jealous and that’s okay – just keep thinking of this amazing wedding you have coming up and the future.
Can you share insight on my current issue? https://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/how-would-you-go-about-this-2/
classicbridalbliss : I think you’re outgrowing your friends. It happens. They’ll grow up one day—or not. You need to figure out if they’re mature enough to support you right now. If not, can you replace them as bridesmaids?
Enjoy the next chapter of your life, Bee. And congratulations on your engagement, and your wedding, and your new home. I don’t even know you, and I’m so happy for you and your fiancé. Best wishes to you both!
“Are you uncomfortable with the change that is happening in my life? Why don’t we celebrate YOUR engagement and house when they happen because what you are doing right now just sounds like you’re trying to shit on my blessings. And I’m pretty certain you don’t want to be seen as the kind of person who shits on other people’s blessings.”
It sounds like your friends are envious and they don’t know how to keep that to themselves while also being happy for you. They are focused on what your wedding and home and engagement mean for them rather than you.
I would stop answering them when they asked about the proposal and other things or I might say “You’ve already asked about those. We don’t need to talk about them again.” Because that poopooing your exciting life transitions is a form of energy vampirism and even if you don’t want to call them out about what they are doing, you definitely shouldn’t allow them to continue siphoning the energy off your joyful moments.
Maybe you don’t need all 9 bridesmaids. Real friends are happy and celebrate with you; they don’t try to one-up you.
They sounds jealous, and actually a bit mean. I had a friend like. She’d get super jealous of anything I said or did, and would quiz me on things all the time. She’d also do the same as yours, and tell me all the things she was planning to do, yet years later she would still not have done any of it. Then at the beginning of this year I just cut her off. The jealously and immaturity just got too much, and I always felt crap after every meet up with her! Do you really need them as bridesmaids? They aren’t exactly supporting you and building you up!
Ohh honey. You’re friends are clearly jealous and I think deep down you already knew that, that’s why you’ve been down plying that you are getting married. No way should you down play that YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED. I think most bride regrets come down to not sticking up for themselves and speaking up. Now to learn to be tactful you wanna keep your friends they are clearly in the same boat we was when we wanted our proposals. We might not of acted jealous or been sucky friends when we was in the same situation but you gotta admit it suckedddddd. You could try something like this. “Hey girl what flowers are you going for?”
” Ahh I know they’ll have nothing on your wedding flowers but I was thinking roses” <<< this is kinda calling them out on it by showing them you already know what they’re are going to do but you come out the saint.
Then try and see them more separately… people find it much harder to be rude when they haven’t got their back up.
Lastly ask them to do stuff for you and with you. You need flowers go pick out flowers together, you wanna taste the cakes with a girlfriend do that. I think they know you are trying not to make them upset and that can sometimes make people upset cause they’ll feel more sorry for themselves.
They arnt real friends! Tell them your FH doesn’t have enough groomsmen and drop them. They wont still be your friends in 5 years anyways to no need to have them in your wedding photos!
They don’t sound like good friends at all! I can understand slight jealousy, I get jealous when others get engaged and I’m still not, but I would always be 100% happy for and behind my friends if they got engaged. There is no reason for them to act like this! If they are jealous (which is what it sounds like) they should keep that to themselves and support you through the planning etc. I am sorry that they are acting like this. Maybe you should reduce the size of your wedding party. I don’t think it does anyone good to have friends like these in their lives.
I wouldn’t pretend nothing is going on. Next time one of them says something like this, ask why she’d say something like that and tell her that you don’t appreciate the rude comparisons and that they are hurtful.
Then ask yourself if you should be interested in a friendship with people like this in the first place.
Find new friends?