(Closed) Friends don’t give friends ultimatums!

posted 7 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Yikes – that’s a tough one. I think you totally have the right to be upset. She should try to put her issues aside and come to your party. And you are totally right – it’s possible that new girlfriend won’t even come!

Now, if I were the old girlfriend, it would likely be a little hard emotionally. But I’d do my best to suck it up. The only thing I could see that would justify the old girlfriend would be if there were more history. Like if this new girl started up with the boyfriend while the old couple was still together. Or lots of nastiness between all of them post break-up.

But if you are friends with both of them, they should try their best to be nice to each other and attend your party.

Post # 4
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

Your friend needs to grow up and learn how to maturely deal with her decisions and their consequences… She dated the guy and for whatever reason it ended… that doesn’t mean he cannot ever date again or you cannot become friends with his new SO… considering this guy is your Fiance bestman it’s likely that as long as your FH and him stay close, you’ll be close with his SO… your friend needs to just suck it up and be an adult.

Post # 5
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I don’t think you are wrong to be upset. I think you should tell good friend that she needs to put herself in your shoes and not make it difficult by putting you in this situation. For one night, she should be able to act grown up and get over the fact that her ex has moved on, especially since it has been over a year. Throwing a tantrum over your invite list is not necessary and if she still refuses, I think you should say sorry you don’t understand where I’m coming from, we will miss you that evening. 

Post # 6
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Your friend does need to grow up. It’s not a fun situation for her. I get that, but someone with maturity puts their own issues aside for the sake of the other person. She should suck it up and deal with her feelings and go and support you.

Post # 7
46411 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Guests don’t decide the guest list- hosts and hostesses do.

Her behavior is completely inappropriate. Time for her to grow up and learn how to behave with grace and dignity in uncomfortable social situations.

We’ve all been there and survived.

Post # 8
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I agree with everyone else, she needs to get over it. She’s not there for the new gf, she’s there for you. Its not like it will just be the 3 of you

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