Post # 1
my friend is having an engagement party and has already picked her moh which is going to be 2 then 3 bridesmaid she is asking everyone to help pay for things for things at the party which i think is a little over the top for an engagement party she’s having a Dj and a psychic which the psychic is 300 $ alone plus shes asking all the girls in the wedding to make food and the guys bring alcohol which is fine but spent 60$ on decorations which she asked the girls in the to Wedding pay for.then she wanted the girls to help pay for the psychic . I’m just a little confused because i thought moh pay for most things plus what happened to just having a dinner i think she’s going over board in this .I’m just wondering how much the bridal after and bacherlotte party is gonna cost ? then when i told her i didn’t have moneymoney to help pay for things because i have my Wedding I’m planning plus I’m not working just my fi plus i have 3 kids that all of there birthday are back to back for 3 months its hard to pay for things I’m not having at my own engagement party i just plan on having a laid back BBQ at my house which goes with our style . and on top of all that she wants to get our bridemaid dresses in june a year in advance !!! so I’m suppose to pay for a dress in full around the same time im having my daughter birthday and my engagement party !! i don’t know how I’m gonna pay for all these things plus go on a family reunion vacation . I’m so streesed when i told her i couldn’t afford to pay for stuff at her party the only thing she said was well can u atleastdo the food not don’t worry about the money i understand !!!
Post # 3
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@jennmc85: So she’s throwing her own engagement party and asking everyone to buy/do everything for it?
GET OUT NOW! Seriously things are only going to get worse by the time she finally gets down the aisle. Are you going to have to pitch in to buy decorations for her wedding too? Or make the food?
This is way over the top, send this girl here so we can straighten her out 😉
Post # 4
I’ve never heard of the bridal party paying for the engagement party, that’s up to the couple and ther families. This girl seems like a piece of work. And you’re right if her engagement party is so over the top then I bet everything else will be as well.
Tell her that you cannot afford to pay for her parties and bow out.
Post # 5
That’s strange. I’ve always known families to throw engagement parties, never the couple themselves or the bridal party.
I would just tell her that you can’t afford to throw so many parties/events and you don’t think you can commit to being in her bridal party. I think it would get much worse as her weddings gets closer! I mean, c’mon, she does not need those things at an engagement party!! That’s definitely OTT.
Post # 6
Run. don’t walk away from this girl. Since when do Bridesmaid or Best Man host the engagement party?
Post # 7
Um she’s crazy, the bride to be and groom should be paying for and planning their own engagement party. Get out now, she’s a major crazy bridezilla
Post # 8
@jennmc85: I think that anyone can host an engagement party (we went to one recently where friends threw it, as the couples parents live out of state) BUT I think it is PAINFULLY rude, as a hostess, to invite someone to a party YOU are hosting with the expectation for them to bring things or contribute funds.
We will probably end up throwing our own engagement party because I have control issues, and guess who will be footing the ENTIRE bill? ME, because I’m the hostess.
I agree with other gals, this is bizarre. Get out now!
Post # 9
@jennmc85: First, I couldn’t get through your entire post – it was just too difficult to read and try to understand. Holy run on sentences, Batman.
However, I think I got the gist of your question. A Maid/Matron of Honor and BM’s may elect to throw a shower and/or bachelorette for the Bride, but that is entirely at their discretion. No one is obligated to throw a party for her and no one is obligated to pay for things. If, say, the Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridal party decide they want to have a shower for the Bride and they agree to mutually host it and agree to a shared budget, great. But neither the bride nor the Maid/Matron of Honor get to decide they want to host a party in the Bride’s honor and then tell the BM’s what they have to pay.
It is not up to the Bride to demand or dictate the details of a party for herself and hand the bills over to her bridal party. I have never, ever heard of a Maid/Matron of Honor or BM’s throwing an engagement party for the couple.
Post # 10
thank you for all your opinions. sorry if it was hard to read i did the post on my phone right after i got off the phone with her and just had to have some other opinions . The bad thing is she has been my friend for 14 years and she is suppose to be my Maid/Matron of Honor which after i asked her i started regretting . I avoided her for a week afraid to tell her i couldn’t give her money .so she called me and said i feel like your avoiding me because of the money. so i admitted that i was . instead of saying that i shouldn’t be worried she just said everything is paid for . she has already accussed of talking too much about my Wedding . when everytime i talk to its about her Wedding so i would talk about mine .plus she hates my friend who im having as a Maid/Matron of Honor too so they will need to be able communicate .she has no reason not to like her they have never been around each other except at my Kids birthday parties . plus when i mentioned who else was gonna be bridesmaid she said i shouldn’t because i hung out with them in a long time .
Post # 11
@jennmc85: Your most recent post makes no sense. SO is everything paid for? So you don’t need to pay for anything. I’m confused.
Post # 12
its all paid for now by moh and other maids but mostly by her she is now making comments like nobody is helping her she told her sister which is her moh that she should have done more . then told Me she has been paying things all herself as if it was wrong. so l I’m the only bridemaid who didn’t give Her money.
Post # 13
ugh sorry. get rid of her as our Maid/Matron of Honor and step down from her wedding
no one needs this drama lama and money grubber in their life.
Post # 14
from what it sounds like, she probably threw her own party because she thought no one else would… She must have a guilty concious from being a bad friend. I agree with others, step down as a Bridesmaid or Best Man and lose her as a Maid/Matron of Honor.