(Closed) friends engagement party

posted 5 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@jennmc85:  So she’s throwing her own engagement party and asking everyone to buy/do everything for it?


GET OUT NOW! Seriously things are only going to get worse by the time she finally gets down the aisle.  Are you going to have to pitch in to buy decorations for her wedding too?  Or make the food?


This is way over the top, send this girl here so we can straighten her out 😉

Post # 4
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@mchitt329:  +1

I’ve never heard of the bridal party paying for the engagement party, that’s up to the couple and ther families.  This girl seems like a piece of work.  And you’re right if her engagement party is so over the top then I bet everything else will be as well.

Tell her that you cannot afford to pay for her parties and bow out. 

Post # 5
2490 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

That’s strange. I’ve always known families to throw engagement parties, never the couple themselves or the bridal party.

I would just tell her that you can’t afford to throw so many parties/events and you don’t think you can commit to being in her bridal party. I think it would get much worse as her weddings gets closer! I mean, c’mon, she does not need those things at an engagement party!! That’s definitely OTT.

Post # 6
7405 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Run. don’t walk away from this girl. Since when do Bridesmaid or Best Man host the engagement party?

Post # 7
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Um she’s crazy, the bride to be and groom should be paying for and planning their own engagement party. Get out now, she’s a major crazy bridezilla

Post # 8
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@jennmc85:  I think that anyone can host an engagement party (we went to one recently where friends threw it, as the couples parents live out of state) BUT I think it is PAINFULLY rude, as a hostess, to invite someone to a party YOU are hosting with the expectation for them to bring things or contribute funds.


We will probably end up throwing our own engagement party because I have control issues, and guess who will be footing the ENTIRE bill? ME, because I’m the hostess.


I agree with other gals, this is bizarre. Get out now!

Post # 9
2604 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@jennmc85:  First, I couldn’t get through your entire post – it was just too difficult to read and try to understand.  Holy run on sentences, Batman.

However, I think I got the gist of your question.  A Maid/Matron of Honor and BM’s may elect to throw a shower and/or bachelorette for the Bride, but that is entirely at their discretion.  No one is obligated to throw a party for her and no one is obligated to pay for things.  If, say, the Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridal party decide they want to have a shower for the Bride and they agree to mutually host it and agree to a shared budget, great.   But neither the bride nor the Maid/Matron of Honor get to decide they want to host a party in the Bride’s honor and then tell the BM’s what they have to pay. 

It is not up to the Bride to demand or dictate the details of a party for herself and hand the bills over to her bridal party.  I have never, ever heard of a Maid/Matron of Honor or BM’s throwing an engagement party for the couple. 

Post # 11
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@jennmc85:  Your most recent post makes no sense.  SO is everything paid for?  So you don’t need to pay for anything.  I’m confused.

Post # 13
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

ugh sorry.  get rid of her as our Maid/Matron of Honor and step down from her wedding

no one needs this drama lama and money grubber in their life.

Post # 14
1109 posts
Bumble bee

 from what it sounds like, she probably threw her own party because she thought no one else would… She must have a guilty concious from being a bad friend. I agree with others, step down as a Bridesmaid or Best Man and lose her as a Maid/Matron of Honor.


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