Friends Mad About Last Minute Bridal Shower

posted 2 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
Member
4482 posts
Honey bee

Well…

1.  Did they actually say they were mad or is possible you are reading tone into it that they didn’t intend?  They may be upset or dismayed, but are they actually mad?  Saying one thinks something is inappropriate may mean they feel a little put off or disappointed, but did they actually say they were mad, as in angry?

2.  Did you ask them if they are actually mad and why?  “I understand this is last minute and it’s ok if you can’t make it work.  Can you explain further why you’re so upset?  Maybe there is something I can help with?”

My guess is they either a) really would have wanted to do something but now so last minute they feel it’s half-assed, b) would have preferred notice because maybe once they realized a shower wasn’t happening they spent the money they would have budgeted for a gift towards something else and now they feel rushed and possibly financially strapped, c) had other plans yet feel obligated to work it in to their schedule now and it’s stressful, d) any combination of the above, and/or e) something else I didn’t think of.  Some people are planners and don’t like last minute things.  And showers are gift giving occasions so there is the added financial aspect of that, too.  I personally wouldn’t have texted you to tell you it is inappropriate, but I can see being pretty put out by the lack of notice.  An invitation isn’t a subpoena but I normally like to be there for my friends and I feel miffed when I feel like people don’t respect my time.

Post # 3
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee

Your friend who sent you that text comes off bitchy to be honest. Firstly, yes, no one likes last minute invites. HOWEVER, your cousin clearly prefaced it with “this is a last minute plan” and must have also mentioned something about it being a surprise for you in the email… Which your friend decided to ruin because *she* was apparently insulted by such an invite. Even if she was insulted, she has shit manners and no tact. 

If I were you, I’d send a short reply, something to the effect of “sorry you feel that way. My cousin unfortunately had to plan this last minute (and it was meant to be a surprise for me, as I’m sure you must have known from her email). I totally understand if you can’t attend.”

Post # 5
Member
2672 posts
Sugar bee

If they are truly mad, don’t let it get to you. They’re being stupid to be mad at something like that. Just enjoy your time with the people that can make it, and let the rest roll off your shoulders!!

Post # 6
Member
760 posts
Busy bee

even if they felt B listed, they sent you angry texts messages about getting a invite to attend your bridal shower? Wow. Please tell me these lovely creatures aren’t bridesmaids.

Post # 7
Member
1353 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - Seattle, WA

This doesn’t make sense to me that you received multiple mad/annoyed texts from friends, especially when it was meant to be a surprise to you!  What kind of friends are these??  I’d have to rethink some friendships…

Post # 8
Member
11974 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Really awful behavior on the part of your BMs. Even “just” being annoyed was out of line.

This was a casual, last minute invitation. And showers are supposed to be low key in any event. If these women are busy, then guess what, they aren’t obligated to attend. You haven’t done anything wrong. Meanwhile they ruined a nice surprise. 

Post # 9
Member
5413 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

Your friends sound selfish and a bit bitchy. Who would text the bride to complain about something like this?

It might be more typical to get a shower invitation a few weeks in advance but it’s still a full week away, it’s not like they got a day or two notice. I really don’t see how your friends are pissed off at having a weeks notice, it’s not that big of a deal.

Post # 10
Member
760 posts
Busy bee

Kings7911 :  ”  I’d have to rethink some friendships…” I was thinking the same thing when I read this. What kind of friends are these? Jealous ones probably

Post # 11
Member
1353 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - Seattle, WA

keepingitreal8675309 :  I think I’m at the point in my life where I’ve weeded out all the “bad” friends. The friends I have now are amazing and they’d just never react this way. Being somewhat annoyed about last minute plans is normal, but I’d never expect them to text me complaining about it!

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