(Closed) Friends negative towards our early engagement

posted 7 years ago in Proposals
Post # 46
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I think that you and you alone will know if you are ready  for this type of life event. I would suggest maybe a longer engagement? More time to plan and get to know each other better!

I have been with my FH for 2 years and our friends still told us they thought it was too soon even though they think we are perfect for each other, so we can’t always count on others support. Just go with your gut!

Post # 47
Member
611 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
Samipring:  I understand how your friends feel. Its nice to know that they care enough to voice their opinion. I agree a longer engagement would be good in this case to see if you are really great together. Sometimes you just know that its the right person for you.

Post # 48
Member
2567 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

View original reply
SarahLulu:  +1 Very well said.

Post # 49
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

let me start by saying that at the end of the day, the only person who knows your relationship as well as you do, is you. you’re the only one who can make the call as to whether our not this is the right fit. if you truly feel it is, then you just gotta do you i suppose!

your friends, however, clearly have your best interests at heart. they are hesitating not because they disapprove of you, your relationship, or this upcoming marriage in general. all they want is to be sure that this is the right time for it all to happen because they want to protect your heart and happiness.

plus, honestly if one of my friends was dating someone then started seeing another guy while she was with her bf and then dumped the bf to start seeing the other guy exclusively and then got engaged so shortly after…i’d be questioning a lot more about her than the engagement timeline! i’d be like wtf dude. also is it not a huge red flag to you at all that he wants to ask your dad’s permission, but has already proposed to you and you’ve started telling people? why even ask your dad at this point? if he’s anything like my dad he’d be like “i would’ve said yes but since you did literally everything before asking me and kept it a secret…y’all shady and i say no.” seriously, what’s up with that

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 11 months ago by MrsHalpert.
Post # 50
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee

I think you can’t really know a person well enough to marry them until you date them through every season. For real!! Because of course they’re great when you first meet but… how do they handle the summer heat? how do they handle blizzard snow? weather can bring out the worst in people and you need to see that side before getting married! Do they get depressed (SADD) in winter? Are they responsible enough to wake up every morning and shovel snow off the driveway? mow the lawn in the summer? Do they like to keep inside with heat/airconditioning or do they enjoy going outdoors skiing/swimming? You really need to be compatible with your partner year-round before getting married!

Post # 51
Member
826 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

There are some people who met and married very quickly and have had 50 plus year marriages, having said that, If I was your friend I would question it, especially since you were dating someone else when you met him, it kind of sounds like you are all over the map.  I will say this, two weeks for me personally is not a long enough time to get to know someone, I believe you should see people through a few seasons in their life…..

Best wishes to you, but you friends are concerned because it is so quick.

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