(Closed) Friends of friends at bachelorette party

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Following!

Post # 3
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Typically the only people who are invited to a hen do/bachelorette party are those who are invited to the wedding….

However DH went to a stag do for a friend, and we haven’t been invited to their wedding (as apparently they are keeping it super small).

So people might find it a little odd, but you could just call it a girls night out rather than it being a bachelorette? Then it wouldn’t seem weird for friends to bring friends, especially those you have met before.

Post # 4
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

in the UK its very common to have open invite hen dos (its dying out now with more expensive weekend breaks taking over but in the old days of just hitting the town it was common) its also common to have a work hen do and invite work collegues who are not invited to the wedding

Ive gone to dos of aqaintences and collegues and not been invited to the wedding, never been offended at having a fun night out though

I think the big issue here is that it would be awkward if your expecting any money, upfront payments or to be ‘covered’ for costs… open invite parties where usually pub crawls where costs are whatever each person felt comfortable spending on drinks/shots so nothing like big planned activities like spa days and/or hotel stays etc…

Post # 5
Member
4817 posts
Honey bee

1.  Who is throwing this bachelorette party?  This is really their call on the guest list.  You shouldn’t be throwing your own bachelorette party – it’s a party in honor of you.

2.  If no one has offered to throw you a bachelorette party, then I would dispense with it altogether.  Have a “girls night out” and invite whomever you wish, but leave your wedding out of it entirely then and just have fun with friends.

Post # 6
Member
5040 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
turtlebackb :  I never got invited to a bachelorette party when I did not know the bride or groom. Twice, I attended a bachelorette party of the bride. However, it was the groom I knew mostly and the bride only a bit but I was still invited to their wedding. I have been invited once to attend a bachelorette party of a friend of a friend. I turned it down because I just felt weird and almost intrusive that I did not know this girl at all. Naturally, only our mutual friend is in invited to the wedding since the bride and I did not know each other. I had to work that weekend they were gonna be out of town anyways too.

Post # 7
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017 - Nepal

I think it all depends on what you want. We are “eloping” so no one will be invited to the wedding. My friends and I were talking about having a bachelorette party for me, mostly because it was an excuse to have a fun girls night or getaway. I am all for having others join even if they aren’t my close friend. One of my friends has a best friend who lives in another state. I have never met her but she sounds great and I’m sure we would get along. I would be more than happy to include her. If you are looking to just have a fun girls night, why not? I wouldn’t be offended if I was invited to a bachelorette party and not the wedding. 

Post # 8
Member
6582 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

The sister of a good friend of mine was getting married and I wasn’t invited to the wedding (totally fine). They asked if I wanted to tag along and I went and had a great time. The only cost involved was buying my own dinner and drinks so it was fine.

Post # 9
Member
1180 posts
Bumble bee

I’d be ok being invited to a bachelorette to a wedding I wasn’t also invited to so long as I wasn’t being asked to contribute to the day/evening/activities outside of my own expenses. If it was a shower or stag and doe and I wasn’t also invited to the wedding? Forget it.

Post # 10
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

also here in the UK its common to throw your own hen do… its not an ‘honor’ (americans are obsessed with that word) its just a celebration and can be hosted by whoever, there is no gifting and no requirment to attend if you dont want to undecided

Post # 12
Member
5040 posts
Bee Keeper

ETA: Just wanted to correct myself but it’s too late to edit my reply. I meant to say I don’t get invited to a bachelorette’s party if I don’t know either the bride or groom except one time. 

Post # 13
Member
3791 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Well this is a great opportunity for them to get to know each other.  Karaoke and drinks is a great time for girlfriends from different walks of your life can get to know each other.  I think that is also a good idea for a “get to know you” event.  Personally I wouldn’t want to have people who I didn’t know at my bachelorette.

Post # 14
Member
1468 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I would not include friends of friends, this is your time to be with your nearest and dearest and it a lot less fun when that’s diluted by a bunch of people you don’t know. Its better to have a small group of close friends than a big party group.

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