Post # 17
I am SO sorry that your friend didn’t even come to see you! Are you ok now?! OMG, back surgery! I really hope you were not left home alone and you had other good people to support you… both physically & emotionally.
Thank you so much for you advice! Recently, I have been trying to “distance” myself, and not jump at every phone call or text etc. But it feels so unnatural and almost like I am lying or worse, playing games. Ick. Did you find that hard too? Do you miss your friendship with her? Or did it make you realize things about your friendship?
Wishing you all the best and hope you had a successful recovery. You must be strong to get thru back surgery!
Post # 18
Thank you. You are right! Sounds like a tough lesson you learned and you put into action.
I will try to talk to 1 or 2 of my friends… and see what happens. As I really would want to know if my friends felt hurt by my action or inaction.
I just have to muster up the strength and find a time that works for them …. am just worried they won’t want to see me unless it’s for a reason – such as watching their kids or pets etc.
But then, writing this, I realize I have my answer. <<ick>>
Is amazing how 30 year olds feel like being 13 year olds!
Thank you again!
Post # 19
Thanks! Yes, you are right I should trust my gut! Everytime I don’t, I get myself into weird situations.
I LOVE sports and other activities. 🙂 Since my accident I have been trying to rebuild my strength to rejoin the Masters Swimming group. I also attended Community Ed courses to learn new things and with the hopeful benefit of meeting new like minded people.
I think it is about manifesting your destiny. And I certianly don’t walk (right now hobble) around like Eyore from Winnie the Pooh. 🙂
But sometimes it feels like, if you try too hard, people sense it or by odd luck things don’t happen. Like when you want to meet the “love of my life!” 🙂 hahaha!
But I will keep doing things that make me happy: swimming, volunteering (I bake fun shaped cakes to bring to women’s shelters & do facepainting), and other things. Hoping that now this awful awareness has happened, I can continue to move forward and manifest better relationships.
Thank you again for keeping it real! And for listening!
Post # 20
Yes, it is amazing, reading your words… it IS awful! OMG.
I would never send my other half over to a friend’s house to bring her to mine to watch my kids. I would want to be there for her, I would even stay the night.
In fact I have dropped work and life to care for someone for 2 weeks, because I cared. Granted, that probably was too much. But that person didn’t know what else to do, and all I could think abotu was flying out there to help her. (Sadly, I just realized, another case of not hearing from that person, unless there is an emergency).
Anyways, thank you for being a sympathetic ear. I have lots to think about, as objectively as possible. Heart still hearts, but I do need to be stronger. I wish I were more like “Anne of Green Gables”! Except, I don’t want to be as fiery, or step on anyone’s toes, or be that selfish…
Post # 21
Thank you! You are right. Thanks for saying it so simply, just the way it is, really.
I need to keep it in mind.
(And I miss that phrase – I lived in UK for 3 years with an Aussie, N.Irelander and Essex girl. Nothing says it better than “bugger off” nor makes it better than, “Would you like a cuppa tea?”) 🙂
Post # 22
@Pippaxox: SAY NO AND DITCH THEM!!!
Post # 23
@Pippaxox: I don’t want have to stop doing things because of wondering if someone is taking advantage or not – it feels like I’m lying to myself, and not being “me.”
I hear that. I have been in this situation several times, and definitely sympathize. By NOT calling, not sending cards, not doing nice things for people, you feel like you’re living a lie. It’s really hard to not go out of your way for people when that’s just your nature… but you can’t continue hurting yourself over people who aren’t worth it.